If a weekly newspaper had arms and hands and a back, Xpress could probably pat itself for commandeering one of the more creative floats in the Asheville Holiday Parade. Maybe the competition is a decade or two younger than the paper’s yule-tide crew, but you’re never too old to wave like a gregarious zombie for 20 minutes at confused children and buzzed parents drinking spiked Dunkin’ Donuts eggnog. The theme of this year’s parade — Silver Bells and Snowflakes — is just so precious, we can’t even touch it. Instead, we’re marching on behalf of the Best of WNC, which is to say Asheville itself! If you see us, say hello: We’ll be literally floating.