The Story: Mall cop Paul Blart returns, clumsily fighting crime in Las Vegas during a convention. The Lowdown: A tired and embarrassing comedy that’s based on a grotesque view of everyday people and a penchant for the cheapest of jokes.
The Story: A disgraced journalist has the story of a lifetime fall into his lap when a fugitive accused of murdering his family turns up in Mexico pretending to be him. The Lowdown: A self-serious crime drama that’s impossible to actually take seriously, one that’s too straight-faced and thematically droll.
The Story: The past of an old, dying man and two young lovers intertwine as he looks back at his past love. The Lowdown: An incredibly goopy, way too long and overwhelmingly chintzy saccharine romance with dull leads and zero points of interest.
The Story: The brother of an old nemesis starts to hunt the bad boys and girls of the Fast & Furious franchise. The Lowdown: A worthy entrant into the long-running series, assuming you’re a fan, of course. Otherwise, it’s a bit too long and a bit too repetitive to work, despite flashes of top notch…
The Story: After being framed for fraud, a millionaire hires the guy who washes his car to teach him how to survive prison. The Lowdown: A puerile mix of lazy, tasteless prison rape jokes, homophobia and occasional fits of casual racism, but with the added benefit of Will Ferrell mugging.
The Story: The story of the Soviet Union’s Red Army hockey team. The Lowdown: An occasionally interesting sports documentary that gives some insight into life inside the USSR and the idea of nationalism but adds little else.
The Story: "Divergent" Tris must stop the evil dystopian government of future Chicago and avenge the death of her family. The Lowdown: Dull, self-serious and derivative sci-fi of the teen romance variety.
The Story: A sniper, years after a life-altering job, must go on the run to save his life. The Lowdown: An occasionally interesting yet overly unimaginative action flick with a miscast lead.
The Story: A father and his estranged son must outrun his lifelong friend, a gangster whose son they had a hand in killing. The Lowdown: A competent, often entertaining action flick that gets bogged down with its need for heavy plot dynamics.
The Story: A businessman and his two inept partners travel the world trying to seal one huge deal before their company turns to ruin. The Lowdown: Incredibly maudlin, overtly unfunny R-rated comedy with an aimless, unsatisfying plot and zero likable characters.
The Story: A con man and his one-time protege — and romantic interest — get tangled up in a scheme. The Lowdown: A clever and honestly surprising movie that’s held back due to the weak chemistry and miscasting of its two leads.
The Lowdown: After re-jiggering the past to suit their needs with their time machine made out of a hot tub, three buddies travel into the future to stop a murder. The Story: A flaccid, unimaginative and chuckleheaded raunchy comedy whose only novelty is that it exists in the first place.
The Story: A former high school football coach on his last chance takes up a job coaching cross country in a poor, Hispanic California town. The Lowdown: A wholly perfunctory, inoffensive and vaguely watchable uplifting sports flick that’s riddled with clichés and a lack of surprises.
The Story: Two children — sent to live with their grandmother — attempt to trek back home, only to find out the sister is entangled in a fantastical mystery. The Lowdown: A handsome looking film with a story that’s too basic to be memorable.
The Story: After the secret recipe to the wildly popular Krabby Patties disappears, SpongeBob and his archrival Plankton must travel through space and time to recover it. The Lowdown: A likable collection of bad jokes and casual nonsense that’s simply too long and exhausting.
The Story: Things soon get out of hand for a group of teens who build a time machine based on schematics found in a basement. The Lowdown: Nonsensical, pointless and meandering teen sci-fi junk, complete with pointless found footage conceit.
The Story: After the death of his wife, an alcoholic widower must fight for custody of his granddaughter. The Lowdown: A well-intentioned courtroom drama that’s not as intelligent or prescient as it wants to be.
The Story: A recently separated wife and mother sleeps with her young neighbor, only to bring his violent, obsessive nature upon her family. The Lowdown: Trashy nonsense that might be fun if it weren’t so inept and laboriously dumb.
The Story: This retelling of Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream has fairies and their dark, evil counterparts duking it out, accompanied by pop songs. The Lowdown: A sanitized, airless kids movie that looks expensive but has no sense of whimsy or imagination.
The Story: A friendless groom hires a professional best man to help him with his wedding. The Lowdown: A likable Kevin Hart performance isn’t enough to prop up this tired, hokey comedy.
The Story: After a rogue hacker melts down a Chinese nuclear plant, an imprisoned hacker is set free to help track him down. The Lowdown: Occasionally far-fetched, sometimes idiotic and often run-of-the-mill action flick that tries to spruce itself up with some topicality.