Despite all the money claimed to have been lavished on The Medallion, Jackie Chan’s latest offering (which, judging by the outtakes, was shot in the winter of 2001) looks and (especially) sounds like a relic from 1972 that has somehow slipped through a fissure in time. The music (which no one to own up to […]
“Ten Years in the Making!” Well, they could have said that about this meeting of the slashers. After all, someone told me, “I’ve been waiting 10 years for this.” And while this claim made me question the speaker’s aesthetic sense — not to mention bringing to mind the phrase “get a life” — it has […]
I am neither a big fan of Kevin Costner, nor of the Western genre; and while I may never feel the need to see Open Range again, I’m certainly glad I caught it. I don’t know quite what I expected, other than not much; I certainly didn’t expect a movie that’s just this side of […]
The Man Without a Past is a totally strange, beguiling, sadly humorous and humorously sad little film that’s apt to linger in your memory far longer than many a more immediately impressive work. That said, this movie doesn’t travel all that well, which may explain why so little of writer/director Aki Kaurismaki’s work has been […]
Until I saw this steaming crap-fest, I didn’t realize what a fine film the Brittany Murphy-Ashton Kutcher vehicle Just Married was — strictly in relative terms, of course. I have no idea what anyone involved in this shapeless mess thought they were doing, but whatever it was, surely what they ended up with cannot have […]
Reviews of Winged Migration almost invariably toss out a myriad of numbers: 225 feet of film shot for every foot in the final movie, three years in the making in 40 countries, 450 people involved in the documentary’s creation, 14 cinematographers, 17 pilots, and on and on. To this, it’s fair to add that the […]
I can hear the uproar now — “He gave Freaky Friday a higher rating than Seabiscuit?” And I can see the dismay in my friends’ eyes from here. Sure, it would be easy to do the curmudgeon shtick on this second remake of the 1976 Disney flick starring Jodie Foster and Barbara Harris in roles […]
If it weren’t for the fact that it’s about 20 minutes too long and frankly rather boring, S.W.A.T. might just succeed on the merits of unintentional laughs. Unfortunately, the film is everything you expect, and less. If you’ve seen the trailer, you already know that the plot revolves around an arrested crime boss (Olivier Martinez […]
They’ve gone through high school (American Pie) and college (American Pie 2). So now it’s time to dramatize the next big chapter in these sex-starved, retro characters’ lives — that contemporary rite of passage: getting married way too young in a wedding way too big. To quote the traditional wedding toast:* “Something borrowed”: The Porkey’s-esque […]
How do you even begin to talk about a movie that includes Jennifer Lopez lying on a bed coyly opening and closing her legs and telling Ben Affleck, “It’s turkey time … gobble- gobble”? With great trepidation, I assure you. Yes, Gigli is every bit as bad as you’ve heard, but I’m not sure it […]
I went into Nowhere in Africa nursing a bit of a grudge over its Oscar trouncing of two movies I greatly admired, Y Tu Mama Tambien and Talk to Her. It didn’t help matters that I was facing a long film (141 minutes) at 10 p.m., right after seeing Swimming Pool, which had given me […]
Here’s a doubly odd situation: First, there’s no guarantee this movie will still be playing locally by the time you read this review; second, this film gets a very specialized four-out-of-five rating from me, aimed strictly at admirers of modern horror films. Those who are offended or disturbed by horrific excesses (even for darkly comical […]
Saying that Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life is better than the original Tomb Raider is about on par with saying that sudden painless death is preferable to expiring by a long and painful disease. In either case, the results are unfortunate. At least with Cradle there’s something more in the way of […]
Seabiscuit is the ultimate in slick professionalism. It has gorgeous production design (Jeannine Oppewall deserves an Oscar), beautiful cinematography and carefully structured scenes, plus rock-solid performances from Tobey Maguire and Jeff Bridges, and an unreservedly brilliant one from Chris Cooper. It’s a movie my mother would love. And from what I’ve been able to overhear […]
When Spy Kids came out, I gave it an unqualified five out of five. When Spy Kids 2 followed, I was less delighted, but felt it worth four out of a possible five. Now along comes movie No. 3, and I find the series losing yet another point. If Rodriguez keeps this up much longer, […]
At 150 minutes, Bad Boys II doesn’t so much burst into theaters as its elephantine self lumbers onto the screen and then refuses to leave, erupting every few minutes with overblown action sequences like some kind of cinematic flatulence. The film is too big, too loud, too stupid, too tasteless and way, way, way too […]
Personal note to Hollywood veteran Nina Foch: After seeing you play stoner Granny and watching you have to be in an utterly superfluous scene where a small dog tries to marry Allison Janney’s long leg, I never want to hear another of your traditional complaints about how degrading it was to have to appear in […]
Johnny English starts off with a really cool Robbie Williams tune, splendidly capturing the feel of a song from a real 1960s spy flick. This cut is played over some opening credits that cleverly (albeit cheaply) recall the old Maurice Binder titles than no self-respecting trendy ’60s film dared eschew. Unfortunately, this opening is followed […]
This is not an Audrey Tautou picture, though she is in it. L’Auberge Espagnole is an ensemble film and Tautou is not even a part of the ensemble. I say this not to downgrade the film but to prevent disappointment in case anyone thinks this is another Amelie. And it certainly isn’t. L’Auberge Espagnole does […]
First, they aren’t all extraordinary. Second, they aren’t all gentlemen. And third, they’re not in much of a movie. What can you say about a seriously intended adventure flick that takes its principal plot device straight from the spoof Casino Royale, having Sean Connery’s Allan Quatermain “bombed, bullied and baited out of retirement” just as […]
At last! A movie with a title that takes up more screen room than Arnold Schwarzenegger’s name! Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl is also a full-blown, summer-movie blockbuster that fully fits the season and can be enjoyed without guilt. Put aside that the film is “based on” a theme park […]
