Asheville waffle-off championship will crown a winner and feed hungry locals

Posted on February 1, 2012February 1, 2012 — Jeff Fobes

(Photo by Parkerman & Christie from San Diego, USA
From a Facebook public event page posted by Paul Van Heden:

Ladies, gentleman, children, and assorted freaks: The next few paragraphs announce the Most Important Event In The History of Ever.

Since the dawn of time humans have looked to the heavens and asked themselves: “Who makes the best waffles?”

For millenia humanity’s greatest scientific & philosophical minds have tacked this problem – but to no avail.

In order to address such a critical existential question for at least 12 months at a time, a mysterious group of wise, sexy, people founded the Universal Waffle-Off Championship. Chefs from around the universe compete in Asheville, NC to decide who will be crowned “Master of the Waffle Iron And Supreme Potentate”

This year’s contenders are:
–>Celebrity Chef Jeremiah Jackson of “Simply Done Cuisine” fame
–> Ferris Camp of the New England Culinary Institute
–> Mystery Chef (I’m not allowed to announce who this person is publicly – but when local foodies find out – they’re gonna flip.)

The 2012 Waffle Off is being met with particular anticipation as expert archeologists from the History Channel came forward with startling new information: According to the ancient Aztec Prophesy – the next Waffle-Off may signal the return of Quetzalcoatl! http://ow.ly/i/riR1

You, dear reader, are cordially invited to participate in the greatest waffle brunch put together by man, alien, or deity. In fact, it may be the last event of 2012 – or ever.

Professional Chefs compete, you eat delicious waffles and vote.

Results are tallied, and the winning chef is glorified above all others!!!

Cost: $5 + one of the following items:

–> Real maple syrup (No fake HFCS crap)
–> 1 gallon of organic orange juice
–> 1 bottle of Sparkling wine and/or Bloody Marys
–> Bowl of fruit salad. (Doesn’t have to be organic)

Note: A small group, such as a family or couple, may show up with a single one of the above items and it will count for the entire group. (For example: A family of 4 can bring a single bottle of real maple syrup.) If you don’t have time to pick up one of the items, no worries, an additional $5 will be accepted.

Babies or sapient entities who don’t eat waffles get in free.

So, to summarize:

What: 2012 Waffle-Off Championship: Return of Quetzalcoatl edition!

Who: Ferris “Waffleicisous” Camp vs Jeremiah “Waffle-nator” Jackson vs “Mystery chef”

Why: To have fun answering the most important question of all time: Who makes the best waffles IN THE UNIVERSE!!!???

Where: 13 Brucemont Circle, 28806 (Joe’s Temple to the Waffle Goddess)

When: Sunday – February 26th, 2011 @ 10:30am – 12:30pm

See you on the 13th! :-)

– pvh

PS: (Please RSVP, please RSVP, please RSVP)

SHARE

About Jeff Fobes

As a long-time proponent of media for social change, my early activities included coordinating the creation of a small community FM radio station to serve a poor section of St. Louis, Mo. In the 1980s I served as the editor of the "futurist" newsletter of the U.S. Association for the Club of Rome, a professional/academic group with a global focus and a mandate to act locally. During that time, I was impressed by a journalism experiment in Mississippi, in which a newspaper reporter spent a year in a small town covering how global activities impacted local events (e.g., literacy programs in Asia drove up the price of pulpwood; soybean demand in China impacted local soybean prices). Taking a cue from the Mississippi journalism experiment, I offered to help the local Green Party in western North Carolina start its own newspaper, which published under the name Green Line. Eventually the local party turned Green Line over to me, giving Asheville-area readers an independent, locally focused news source that was driven by global concerns. Over the years the monthly grew, until it morphed into the weekly Mountain Xpress in 1994. I've been its publisher since the beginning. Mountain Xpress' mission is to promote grassroots democracy (of any political persuasion) by serving the area's most active, thoughtful readers. Consider Xpress as an experiment to see if such a media operation can promote a healthy, democratic and wise community. In addition to print, today's rapidly evolving Web technosphere offers a grand opportunity to see how an interactive global information network impacts a local community when the network includes a locally focused media outlet whose aim is promote thoughtful citizen activism. Follow me @fobes

View all posts by Jeff Fobes →

Before you comment

The comments section is here to provide a platform for civil dialogue on the issues we face together as a local community. Xpress is committed to offering this platform for all voices, but when the tone of the discussion gets nasty or strays off topic, we believe many people choose not to participate. Xpress editors are determined to moderate comments to ensure a constructive interchange is maintained. All comments judged not to be in keeping with the spirit of civil discourse will be removed and repeat violators will be banned. See here for our terms of service. Thank you for being part of this effort to promote respectful discussion.

Leave a Reply ×