Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel

Movie Information

The Story: Everyone's favorite singing chipmunks are back -- whether you like it or not. This time, starting off at high school. The Lowdown: Manages to be both bottom-of-the-barrel and incredibly grating. This might be the first time I've watched a movie that's completely made up of filler.
Score:

Genre: Animated Rodent Musical/Adventure
Director: Betty Thomas (John Tucker Must Die)
Starring: Zachary Levi, David Cross, Jason Lee, Justin Long (voice)
Rated: PG

There’s something inherently comforting in Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel. It’s just as bad as I suspected, creating a sense that everything’s right with the world. If the movie had been better than expected, I’d have to start worrying about my mental faculties, and, worse, I’d fret for the sake of humanity.

The movie doesn’t stray far from the original’s blueprint. The chipmunks—Alvin (Justin Long), Simon (Matthew Gray Gubler, (500) Days of Summer) and Theodore (Jesse McCartney)—remain huge pop stars, because people can’t seem to get enough high-pitched covers of generic pop songs (which is actually kind of believable). This translates into a bevy of agonizingly shrill musical numbers and the usual misadventures one can only expect from a trio of animated rodentia.

But don’t get into a dither, there are some differences afoot here. For one, The Squeakquel sees the Chipmunks heading off to high school, all the better to cash in on the High School Musical demographic (the theory being that tween girls can’t differentiate between Zac Efron and a chipmunk). There’s also the inclusion of the Chipettes, a female version of the Chipmunks, out to gain their own celebrity. Or at least with all these pants-less animals running around we’re told they’re female—my hope is we’re just setting up an elaborate Crying Game reference for part three.

The movie is also educational in that it shows what a difference good representation can do for an actor. Jason Lee, the de facto human star of the first film, is barely on-screen, since his character, Dave, ends up in traction due to some chipmunk-induced calamity. He’s instead replaced with Dave’s relative Toby (TV actor Zachary Levi), a slacker video-gamer geek, who’s included just to shoehorn in a sloppy, superfluous romantic sub-plot to pad the running time.

David Cross comes out worse than anyone. Not only is he as painfully and hopelessly awful, he also logs more screen time than he did in the first one. You’d think the man would know better. One Chipmunks movie is maybe excusable. I can’t imagine being seen in public after making the second one.

In a way, this Chipmunks film is a bit classier. Unlike the first movie, there’s a complete lack of chipmunk-droppings ingestion. Instead, we’ve graduated to gags involving Dutch Ovens. Now that’s what I call progress.

The whole mess is pretty dire. The Chipmunks’ voices and high jinks not only assault your intelligence and sensibilities, but you’re physical senses, too. The Squeakquel is such an all-encompassing waste that you spend the entire movie thinking it can’t sink any lower than it just did. But then something called Digger the NASCAR Gopher makes a cameo and you realize, oh yes, the bar can be lowered, and that Alvin, Simon and Theodore are just the rodents to do it. Rated PG for some mild rude humor.

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10 thoughts on “Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel

  1. Vince Lugo

    I should point out that the animated Chipmunks movie from the 80s (The Chipmunk Adventure) is actually pretty good with a decent soundtrack and a perfectly servicable plot about a balloon race around the world. Of all the movies I’ve shown my niece, it’s one of the few she’s asked to watch more than once.

  2. Bert

    “David Cross comes out worse than anyone. Not only is he as painfully and hopelessly awful, he also logs more screen time than he did in the first one. You’d think the man would know better.”

    He does know better but sometimes a paycheck speaks louder than artistic integrity. He probably made 10 times more on this than his whole stint on Arrested Development.

  3. Steve

    Poor Justin. Stuck with this, and now with The Spy Next Door as well? I would advise you to re-read the Geneva Conventions. There just has to be something in there that makes this illegal.

  4. Ken Hanke

    In all fairness, The Spy Next Door has a certain amount of barter involved — do this and you can have Book of Eli.

  5. Steve

    Well I’m glad the poor guy got something out of it. You take your share too, though.

    You have been on my mind lately Ken. What did you think about the little critic’s monologue at the end of Ratatouille? I guess I should have posted this in that movie’s forum, but I wathced it again the other day and thought of you.

  6. davidf

    “I guess I should have posted this in that movie’s forum, but…”

    A forum about talking chipmunks seems like a perfectly good place to bring up a movie about talking rats.

  7. Steve

    You know, I hadn’t thought about it that way, but you make an excellent point. Although the rat in Ratatouille didn’t actually talk…

  8. (the theory being that tween girls can’t differentiate between Zac Efron and a chipmunk).
    I know very few teenage girls who want to do what they want to do with Zac Efron with a chipmunk.

    Or at least I hope so.

  9. Ken Hanke

    What did you think about the little critic’s monologue at the end of Ratatouille? I guess I should have posted this in that movie’s forum, but I wathced it again the other day and thought of you.

    I liked it and I kind of bought it — at least in the way that I buy the idea that no movie deserves the MST3K treatment — while it was being said. Then I thought about things like Little Man and Meet the Spartans and decided it wasn’t exactly a sound across-the-board argument.

  10. Steve

    LOL, always a delight to hear from you Ken.

    I adore MST3K. I can understand the objections, but I haven’t seen them do any movies that didn’t richly deserve complete ridicule.

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