The Profiler

The descriptions of fan qualities and quirks are intended to be a playful take on what’s unique about all of us. The world would be a better place if everyone went out to see more live music.

The Suspect: Sirius B.

Xpress readers voted them the No. 1 “Next Big Thing” in the 2010 Best of WNC poll. If you’re ready to dance the night away with a big smile on your face, check out the “finest Absurdist Gypsy Folk Punk that the world has to offer.”

Can Be Found: Lexington Ave Brewery, Friday, May 20.

RIYD (Recommended if You Dig): Gogol Bordello, DeVotchKa.

You Should Go If: A wrestling unitard is your springtime fashion staple; you just completed a business plan for a petting zoo; you’ve never owned a real bed but you’re on your third trampoline; you can’t believe it’s almost June and … you haven’t heard back from The Hunger Games, er, Artemis, casting department.

The Suspect: Hackensaw Boys

This bluegrass collective prides itself in exploring new territory in old-time music. They’ve been touring together for over 10 years, sharing the stage with everyone from the Flaming Lips to De La Soul. How can you resist a band whose website lists under “Really Current Events,” “Trying to decide between salty and sweet at a convenience store on the side of a highway somewhere.”

Can Be Found: The Grey Eagle, Friday, May 20.

RIYD: Avett Brothers, Old Crow Medicine Show.

You Should Go If: Your parents always stay at The Mountaineer Inn when they visit you; you’ve made $38.21 so far this year from taking all the pennies from cups that say “Take a penny”; you were a PBR Pioneer; you can’t believe it’s almost June and … you still haven’t mowed your lawn.

The Suspect: Little Feat

The group’s self-titled debut album came out 40 years ago, and their music has been covered by the likes of Phish, Widespread Panic, Bonnie Raitt and Bob Dylan. Founded in L.A. by Bill Payne and the late Lowell George, the band still actively tours and released a live album, Ram’s Head Revisited, late last year.

Can Be Found: The Orange Peel, Tuesday, May 24.

RIYD: Grateful Dead, the Allman Brothers Band.

You Should Go If: You keep smoking the weed out of your “bug out” bag; you bring along a camping chair everywhere you go; you call women who are not related to you “Mama”; you can’t believe it’s almost June and … you still need help from at least one other person to get your Five Finger barefoot shoes on.

The Suspect: Face to Face

This pop punk band had its beginnings over 20 years ago when guitarist Trever Keith began playing with a buddy from high school under the name “Zero Tolerance.” The band decided to break up in 2003, gave a farewell tour in ’04, and reunited in 2008. This month the band released Laugh Now, Laugh Later, their first new album since 2002.

Can Be Found: The Orange Peel, Wednesday, May 25.

RIYD: Blink-182, Green Day.

You Should Go If: You’ve dabbled in cage fighting; Ritalin may be the only thing you and your teenage son have in common; black eyeliner may be the only thing you and your teenage daughter have in common; you can’t believe it’s almost June and … you’ve only seen Thor three times.

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