Superior Poetry

“Billboards”

If you have more money than someone
do you think that makes you a better person?
Or does it just mean you’ve spent less
on the things that matter?
Like daily chocolate milkshakes (with whip cream)
or a weekly deep tissue massage (with mud-facial)
or a John Tesh box set (collector's addition)
autographed by John Tesh (himself!)
with a note that says:
"To _________, my biggest fan"
and guess what? You filled in the blank
with your name (Joe Zimmerman!)
Or the massive billboard in Ohio you purchased
That says, "Joe Zimmerman is better than you"
That cost you $8,000 up front
and an additional $2,000 per month in rental fees.
Or the thirty-two banjos you bought off eBay in bulk
which arrived with a pungent skunk smell
(partly explaining the bulk discount)
and gave your entire house a pungent skunk smell
and by “house” you mean your friend's guest room
and by "guest room" you mean your friend’s storage unit
and by “friend” you mean www.publicstorage.com

Or the billboard in North Dakota
twice the size of the one in Ohio
that says, "Joe Zimmerman is better than you," too.
Or the billboards in California
or Maine or Arkansas or Nebraska
that say the same.
The point is, if you think you’re better than someone
because you have more money
or a home that doesn’t smell like skunk-banjos
or a home that’s not a public storage unit
or a bed that doesn’t smell like skunk-banjos
because your bed isn’t a big pile of skunk-banjos
Well then what do you have to say
about all of the billboards
that prove otherwise?
Just food for thought …
loser.

— Where’s Joe next? Find out at www.zimmermancomedy.com.