You know you live in Asheville when…

• You love to go downtown and marvel at how the city has preserved its rich architectural history.
• The name Stewart Coleman sounds familiar.
• All cars appear to be sold with a kayak or bike rack (or both) on top.
• Someone says "green" and you don’t assume they’re referring to a color.
• You have a season pass to Biltmore House (and use it only when you have out-of-town guests).
• You can list all the presidents who’ve stayed at the Grove Park Inn.
• You can drive from the Smokies to the Atlantic Ocean in six hours.
• You understand that you can no longer be poor and afford to live in Montford.
• You see Andie MacDowell on the street.
• You can easily find a place to get acupuncture for your dog or cat.
• After hearing about an animal in need, you put the word out to your friends and find him/her a home by 5 p.m.
• You know what a Migun Bed is.
• A "modest” home costs at least $300,000.
• Even though the forecast calls for 7 inches of snow, you may well get none, and when none is predicted you may very well get 7 inches.
• You wear your heaviest winter coat, hat, gloves, socks, scarf, boots and long underwear on Monday, and by Wednesday, you’re trying to decide if you even need a light jacket.
• The schools calling a "snow day" has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not it’s snowing.
• You remember the Storm of the Century in ’93.
• At least two of your friends are vegans.
• You have a hard time deciding which vegetarian or vegan restaurant to visit for dinner.
• You understand that one doesn’t plant (though you may eat) the Laughing Seed.
• People who mention Rosetta's aren’t necessarily talking about a person.
• You love the combination of Southern charm and urban sophistication.
• There are wonderful outdoor music festivals.
• You can tell when and where the drum circle occurs.
• Someone talks about the bridges of Madison County and you don’t think they’re referring to a movie with Clint Eastwood and Meryl Streep.
• People pronounce Leicester as "Lee-ces-ter."
• You enjoy great arts-and-crafts shows year round.
• You schedule your summer vacation around Bele Chere.
• If you're coming from out of town, you have to either drive in or take a "puddle jumper."
• You can direct visitors to the homes of George Vanderbilt, Thomas Wolfe and Carl Sandburg.
• You can identify where Wolfe and O. Henry are buried.
• You realize that Thomas Wolfe isn’t just a guy who "buys ugly houses."
• You don’t think Helen's Bridge refers to dental work.
• You’re familiar with Zelda Fitzgerald’s sorry story.
• You can take a haunted-places tour that equals the one in Salem.
• You’re aware that Mount Mitchell is the highest peak this side of the Mississippi and may be able to recite its precise elevation.
• It’s no news that Billy Graham lives in Montreat.
• You may run into a bear on a hiking trail and find one in your backyard on the same day (this happened to me).
• You don’t pronounce "Buncombe" as if it had the word “comb” in it.
• Someone mentions the Hot Shot and you don’t think they mean a drink (well, not exactly, anyway).
• You understand that a visit to the Tunnel Road DMV is a full day's outing.
• You realize there are really only two roads in Asheville, though they go by 10 different names (Hendersonville Road/Biltmore Avenue/Broadway/Merrimon Avenue/Weaverville Highway and Smokey Park Highway/Patton Avenue/College Street/Tunnel Road/Highway 70).
• To learn more about malapropisms, you cozy up at Malaprop’s.
• You've used "The Tunnel" as a landmark more than 10 times in giving directions.
• Someone refers to the "Paris of the South” and you don’t ask where that is.
• You unexpectedly run into someone who was your neighbor in San Francisco.
• You unexpectedly run into someone who was your neighbor in Florida.
• A drive on the Blue Ridge Parkway is just another Sunday outing.

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5 thoughts on “You know you live in Asheville when…

  1. mtg

    How about:
    you know you live in Asheville when you grew up here and have seen Asheville turn into a city that you pretty much have to be really freakin’ wealthy to enjoy, live in adequate housing, and not have to work 3 jobs just to pay rent!

  2. lookatmeimsoshiny

    Mtg, I’m pretty sure that same sentiment was first a part of the “you know you live in Charlotte” series a while back in time, no?

  3. Piffy!

    [b]How about:
    you know you live in Asheville when you grew up here and have seen Asheville turn into a city that you pretty much have to be really freakin’ wealthy to enjoy, live in adequate housing, and not have to work 3 jobs just to pay rent!
    [/b]

    Yes. Asheville was much better in the early 90’s, when there ALSO were no jobs, or even the opportunities afforded by such recent proximity to said wealthy folk.

  4. Asheville Dweller

    Yes because Asheville is ooooozing with jobs . . . .

  5. Piffy!

    You know you’re in Asheville when:

    self-proclaimed ‘locals’ complain about their town becoming popular and opportunity existing for the first time in close to a century.

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