You know you live in Asheville when…

• You love to go downtown and marvel at how the city has preserved its rich architectural history.
• The name Stewart Coleman sounds familiar.
• All cars appear to be sold with a kayak or bike rack (or both) on top.
• Someone says "green" and you don’t assume they’re referring to a color.
• You have a season pass to Biltmore House (and use it only when you have out-of-town guests).
• You can list all the presidents who’ve stayed at the Grove Park Inn.
• You can drive from the Smokies to the Atlantic Ocean in six hours.
• You understand that you can no longer be poor and afford to live in Montford.
• You see Andie MacDowell on the street.
• You can easily find a place to get acupuncture for your dog or cat.
• After hearing about an animal in need, you put the word out to your friends and find him/her a home by 5 p.m.
• You know what a Migun Bed is.
• A "modest” home costs at least $300,000.
• Even though the forecast calls for 7 inches of snow, you may well get none, and when none is predicted you may very well get 7 inches.
• You wear your heaviest winter coat, hat, gloves, socks, scarf, boots and long underwear on Monday, and by Wednesday, you’re trying to decide if you even need a light jacket.
• The schools calling a "snow day" has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not it’s snowing.
• You remember the Storm of the Century in ’93.
• At least two of your friends are vegans.
• You have a hard time deciding which vegetarian or vegan restaurant to visit for dinner.
• You understand that one doesn’t plant (though you may eat) the Laughing Seed.
• People who mention Rosetta's aren’t necessarily talking about a person.
• You love the combination of Southern charm and urban sophistication.
• There are wonderful outdoor music festivals.
• You can tell when and where the drum circle occurs.
• Someone talks about the bridges of Madison County and you don’t think they’re referring to a movie with Clint Eastwood and Meryl Streep.
• People pronounce Leicester as "Lee-ces-ter."
• You enjoy great arts-and-crafts shows year round.
• You schedule your summer vacation around Bele Chere.
• If you're coming from out of town, you have to either drive in or take a "puddle jumper."
• You can direct visitors to the homes of George Vanderbilt, Thomas Wolfe and Carl Sandburg.
• You can identify where Wolfe and O. Henry are buried.
• You realize that Thomas Wolfe isn’t just a guy who "buys ugly houses."
• You don’t think Helen's Bridge refers to dental work.
• You’re familiar with Zelda Fitzgerald’s sorry story.
• You can take a haunted-places tour that equals the one in Salem.
• You’re aware that Mount Mitchell is the highest peak this side of the Mississippi and may be able to recite its precise elevation.
• It’s no news that Billy Graham lives in Montreat.
• You may run into a bear on a hiking trail and find one in your backyard on the same day (this happened to me).
• You don’t pronounce "Buncombe" as if it had the word “comb” in it.
• Someone mentions the Hot Shot and you don’t think they mean a drink (well, not exactly, anyway).
• You understand that a visit to the Tunnel Road DMV is a full day's outing.
• You realize there are really only two roads in Asheville, though they go by 10 different names (Hendersonville Road/Biltmore Avenue/Broadway/Merrimon Avenue/Weaverville Highway and Smokey Park Highway/Patton Avenue/College Street/Tunnel Road/Highway 70).
• To learn more about malapropisms, you cozy up at Malaprop’s.
• You've used "The Tunnel" as a landmark more than 10 times in giving directions.
• Someone refers to the "Paris of the South” and you don’t ask where that is.
• You unexpectedly run into someone who was your neighbor in San Francisco.
• You unexpectedly run into someone who was your neighbor in Florida.
• A drive on the Blue Ridge Parkway is just another Sunday outing.

SHARE

Thanks for reading through to the end…

We share your inclination to get the whole story. For the past 25 years, Xpress has been committed to in-depth, balanced reporting about the greater Asheville area. We want everyone to have access to our stories. That’s a big part of why we've never charged for the paper or put up a paywall.

We’re pretty sure that you know journalism faces big challenges these days. Advertising no longer pays the whole cost. Media outlets around the country are asking their readers to chip in. Xpress needs help, too. We hope you’ll consider signing up to be a member of Xpress. For as little as $5 a month — the cost of a craft beer or kombucha — you can help keep local journalism strong. It only takes a moment.

About Webmaster
Mountain Xpress Webmaster Follow me @MXWebTeam

Before you comment

The comments section is here to provide a platform for civil dialogue on the issues we face together as a local community. Xpress is committed to offering this platform for all voices, but when the tone of the discussion gets nasty or strays off topic, we believe many people choose not to participate. Xpress editors are determined to moderate comments to ensure a constructive interchange is maintained. All comments judged not to be in keeping with the spirit of civil discourse will be removed and repeat violators will be banned. See here for our terms of service. Thank you for being part of this effort to promote respectful discussion.

5 thoughts on “You know you live in Asheville when…

  1. mtg

    How about:
    you know you live in Asheville when you grew up here and have seen Asheville turn into a city that you pretty much have to be really freakin’ wealthy to enjoy, live in adequate housing, and not have to work 3 jobs just to pay rent!

  2. lookatmeimsoshiny

    Mtg, I’m pretty sure that same sentiment was first a part of the “you know you live in Charlotte” series a while back in time, no?

  3. Piffy!

    [b]How about:
    you know you live in Asheville when you grew up here and have seen Asheville turn into a city that you pretty much have to be really freakin’ wealthy to enjoy, live in adequate housing, and not have to work 3 jobs just to pay rent!
    [/b]

    Yes. Asheville was much better in the early 90’s, when there ALSO were no jobs, or even the opportunities afforded by such recent proximity to said wealthy folk.

  4. Piffy!

    You know you’re in Asheville when:

    self-proclaimed ‘locals’ complain about their town becoming popular and opportunity existing for the first time in close to a century.

Leave a Reply to mtg ×

To leave a reply you may Login with your Mountain Xpress account, connect socially or enter your name and e-mail. Your e-mail address will not be published. All fields are required.