Mountain slackers embracing “no-gas” excuse as strong sick-day ploy
Due to the fuel shortage in Western North Carolina, local workers have saved “thousands of life-hours” by calling in “no-gas” to their work places, according to several Recreation Science instructors at UNCA.
“The lack of gasoline has affected worker transportation, and workers’ ability to manipulate the perception of worker transportation,” said Mike Blackstone, head of the Recreation Science Department. “Worker sleep patterns have been altered, as more adults stay up late on work-nights on the gamble that gas will still be scarce enough in the morning to take another day off from their jobs.”
In addition to the “no-gas” excuse, WNC employers report an increase in worker sick days for “marginal reasons.”
“I had four workers call in this morning. They had gas, but they said they were too worried about the impending total collapse of the national economy to make it in,” said one local manager. “I can’t have my people citing ‘the economy’ as their reason for not making it to work. It’s just so broad. And I’m trying to run a bank here.”
With panic at the pumps and more bad news about the national economy, many Asheville residents are shocked that the economy has gotten so bad.
“I can’t believe it,” said one woman. “Frankly, I didn’t know that the economy had been so good up to now. I don’t have a car or a job and I’m living on a perch I built above my friend’s rain barrel. I’m recession-proof. Gas is now five dollars a gallon? I couldn’t afford it when it was two dollars a gallon. I mean I feel for people that are losing everything, but welcome back, I guess.”
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