April 21-27 [was] Infertility Awareness Week. Did you know that one in eight U.S. couples of childbearing age struggle to get pregnant or sustain a pregnancy?
Many of us grow up with the notion that if you want something badly enough and you work hard enough, you can make your dreams come true. Infertility or lost pregnancies can turn that notion and your life upside down.
Infertility is an extremely lonely and isolating experience, and reminders of the struggle are everywhere. The next time you go to the grocery store or the park, notice how many babies, children and pregnant women you see. Imagine how the unbearable pain of infertility could be magnified by the sight of parenthood surrounding you daily. This is an ongoing experience for those who are struggling with infertility.
If you are struggling with infertility, you don’t have to face it alone. There are many helpful resources available, including a monthly support group in Asheville. (More info at [avl.mx/5xk].)
Other helpful resources: creatingafamily.org and resolve.org.
If you are a friend or family member of someone struggling with infertility, you may be at a loss for how to provide support. Here are some great resources to get you started: [avl.mx/5xl]
My husband and I know the lifelong desire to be parents, the pain of pregnancy loss, the struggle to become pregnant again and the isolation this daily struggle creates. Our journey led us to our beautiful son, who joined our family through adoption almost two years ago. If you are struggling, we wish you strength and hope on your journey. You are not alone.
— Sarah Edwards
Asheville
why not take care of what’s already here? If someone’s NOT getting preggers; take the hint… and adopt!
Mrs. Edwards describes a struggle that brings instant empathy from reasonable folks as well as admiration for their decision to achieve their goal as parents by undergoing the process of adoption. It is regretful that it is a process that is unnecessarily costly and tedious. The average cost is upwards of $30,000 for a newborn domestic adoption, more for an international one.
It is difficult to understand the juxtaposition between those who are advocating for taking the lives of near term or already delivered babies, and the obvious haven for these unwanted children with couples such as the Edwards’.
One very positive step that could be taken, regardless of where we each come out on the more contentious political controversies surrounding conception, abortion, tinkering with genes, etc., would be to stop talking about adoption in ways that suggest that it is only a last resort for those who for whatever reasons cannot have “their own.” For us adoption was a relatively straightforward “first resort.”
Although I feel for anyone who deals with emotional pain and disappointment, I do also believe it would be helpful if we not frame fertility issues in such melodramatic terms. The “struggle” to get pregnant. “Dreams not coming true.” One’s “life being turned upside down.” The “unbearable pain of infertility… magnified by the sight of parenthood.” Most everyone faces pain and disappointment in many different forms, and how we frame and respond to those things can have a big impact on how successfully we deal with them. As the letter itself suggests, they ended up with a beautiful son, not a consolation prize.