Letter: Kindness first, Asheville

Graphic by Lori Deaton

After experiencing several mean, angry and sanctimonious outbursts in crowds, I think we need a “kindness first, Asheville” campaign.

While at a concert, a baby cried. A man yelled out for all to hear, “Get that baby out of here. We want to hear the concert.” While at a confusing intersection, a car blared its horn at an older man several long times. While at a bar with music, a woman yells out for all to hear, “If you sit in that spot, there is not room for our shoulders.” While at dinner out, a woman walks by a very tight space and accidentally spills a glass of water on a table. The man at the table yells at the top of his voice for her to “watch out where she is going!”

What is this mean anger? Why is this so prevalent here in Asheville, that I as a short-timer (I have only been here a year), have experienced so many examples of this yelling-out behavior? I come from West Virginia, where there is much more poverty and yet a great deal more kindness. I am shocked that this progressive area has such a short fuse. What is going on?

A simple second of thought, a count to 10, if you will, could stop this awful, hurtful behavior. If something is not to your liking, stop the yelling out and walk over and talk to the person. Kindly let them know the reasons for your request in a thoughtful manner. Stop this holier-than-thou attitude, Asheville.

— Barbara Walker
Black Mountain

SHARE

Thanks for reading through to the end…

We share your inclination to get the whole story. For the past 25 years, Xpress has been committed to in-depth, balanced reporting about the greater Asheville area. We want everyone to have access to our stories. That’s a big part of why we've never charged for the paper or put up a paywall.

We’re pretty sure that you know journalism faces big challenges these days. Advertising no longer pays the whole cost. Media outlets around the country are asking their readers to chip in. Xpress needs help, too. We hope you’ll consider signing up to be a member of Xpress. For as little as $5 a month — the cost of a craft beer or kombucha — you can help keep local journalism strong. It only takes a moment.

About Letters
We want to hear from you! Send your letters and commentary to letters@mountainx.com

Before you comment

The comments section is here to provide a platform for civil dialogue on the issues we face together as a local community. Xpress is committed to offering this platform for all voices, but when the tone of the discussion gets nasty or strays off topic, we believe many people choose not to participate. Xpress editors are determined to moderate comments to ensure a constructive interchange is maintained. All comments judged not to be in keeping with the spirit of civil discourse will be removed and repeat violators will be banned. See here for our terms of service. Thank you for being part of this effort to promote respectful discussion.

16 thoughts on “Letter: Kindness first, Asheville

  1. Enlightened Enigma

    Barbara, liberal progressives usually stay angry because they are in the minority and hate it because they have no solutions that work. They tend to over react often.

  2. Johnny to the A

    I am guessing anger is the default emotion when you are a shattered soul.

    You must remember that Asheville doesn’t attract greatness in any form.

    The vast majority of its residents arrived broken in one fashion or another and rejected by society elsewhere.

    Add in:

    Hapless and confused young souls at UNCA ruined by their over indulging parents…

    Parasitic trust fund recipients …

    Self-entitlement from Liberal fascists resulting in the “you exist; therefore, you owe me” mentality….

    Kindness doesn’t and will not ever exist in Asheville. Only the pretense of it supported by a façade of pet love (always over human civility) and a mayor who panders to the lowest common denominator.

    • Enlightened Enigma

      wow, now that’s what I should have written! EXCELLENT post Johnny!

    • Lulz

      LOL because student debt and inability of graduates to pay it means college is what? A SCAM. But that’s what happens when colleges charge whatever they want because of government interference.

      • Enlightened Enigma

        AGAIN, most correct Mr. Lulz! college tuitions up over 400% the past 20 years……while all the collegiate bureacrats paid outrageous unfounded salaries…

        no child of mine would be allowed in a government screwl … get YOUR children OUT of government indoctrination centers TODAY !

        • Lulz

          LOL, their default argument is you’re not a college graduate therefore you’re lower than a cockroach. But considering that many commenters here are probably tenured college staff, and overpaid on top of it, of course they want more people going. After all, their own selfish greed kicks in. And they are just as greedy as any person on wall street that they vilify . But their greed is good in their minds. Never mind the young lives that worthless college degrees destroy. And the fact that student debt is a huge bubble that can destroy the economy. People need to wake up.

  3. jason

    Asheville is full of adult children who have made terrible decisions their entire lives, irresponsible with money and have a large sense of entitlement. They tend to get frustrated with everything around them and act out accordingly, even though they are their biggest problem. It’s easy to yell at other people when you are such a miserable person. Remember, misery loves company.

    • Lou

      I think most all of the angry and entitled people are those that have moved here from other places…Florida and South Carolina come to mind right away. I’m looking for a way out of this s@#thole myself.

  4. James

    Barbara, Asheville is not a friendly city. It is in fact, the rudest, snootiest and downright most hostile place I’ve ever lived. If you can find some people who were born there and have roots there, you’ll find true southern hospitality. Otherwise, the city of Asheville has become a magnet for obnoxious trustafarians, feminists, anarchists, stoners, etc. from all over the country. Those people have brought their values and negativity with them and have pretty much destroyed what was one a nice, comfortable place. I moved away from Asheville three years ago and have no regrets.

    • NFB

      ” I moved away from Asheville three years ago and have no regrets.”

      And yet you check out news site from Asheville.

      • James

        Yes, once in awhile I need a good laugh and the angry Asheville message board trolls never disappoint.

  5. BMacAVL

    While driving to park in the Rankin Garage on Tuesday…I noticed a car driving towards me on the one way. I rolled down my window and said politely “may I help you find where you are going?”…her 18 – 20 something year old response was “No, why would I need your help.” She proceeded to pull out into traffic on College barely missing a car who honked to let her know…she then yelled “F*ck You All!” at the top of her lungs…at least the folks sitting on the Vault patio had a nice laugh I guess:(

  6. Tsalagisister

    Yes, cruelty and the inability to consider how ones actions affect others is endemic here.
    But… as a Tsalagi(Cherokee) ,
    One comes to expect these behaviors from insensitive and disrespectful people.
    Not like this isn’t happening all over this country.
    Greed unbridled… Leads to self centered humans.
    The lack of respect is tangible

  7. Lost Child

    Oh I so agree. Due to this towns rabid former now incarcerated sheriff, I no longer have a way to leave.
    I’d give my right arm to leave this phony self centered place. If anyone can identify the criminals who sabotaged my car…. In retaliation for my free speech… I’d already be gone..

Leave a Reply to Tsalagisister ×

To leave a reply you may Login with your Mountain Xpress account, connect socially or enter your name and e-mail. Your e-mail address will not be published. All fields are required.