Though Mountain Xpress cartoonist Randy Molton long ago surrendered to liberal myopia, I admire his creative talents. His recent cartoon lamenting my lamentations on socialism was no exception [Dec. 13, Xpress].
Of additional interest were the liberties taken in the follow-up comments.
Case in point, the Mountain Xpress reader who crafted the following observation [on mountainxcom]: “I would also like to add that Doctor Mumpower owns a beautiful Standard Poodle. Carl faithfully walks the dog daily at 9 am from his office on College Street throughout downtown. Every time I see them downtown, it appears that Carl does not own any Doggie Waste Bags. The dog poops, Carl no scoops. Please, can we set up a Go Fund Me? Dr. Carl Mumpower Doggie Waste Bag Drive, 2017. Times are tough and the struggle is real.”
Experience demonstrates that far too many progressives similarly embrace vilifying the opposition and imaginative fabrication — like myopia — as irresistible sirens.
Pepper is a black and white bird dog. We don’t walk downtown, we run downtown, and we do it four days a week somewhere between 6:30 and 9 a.m. I always have a doggie bag, and I always clean up after my charge.
Well, maybe there was one exception. A few years back, I forgot her accessory and had to rely on a copy of the Mountain Xpress to take care of business.
As a counter to my antagonist’s “Go Fund Me” entreaty, I wanted to extend a “Go Catch Me” proposal. It’s my pleasure to offer a $100 reward for anyone who can furnish a photo of me skipping pet responsibilities — anywhere — anytime.
I can be trusted to clean up after my dog. It’s unfortunate that when it comes to myopia, vilification and fabrication, there’s no matching means to clean up after humans.
— Carl Mumpower