Letter writer: ‘Hail, Caesar!’ should have been ‘Pick of the Weak’

Graphic by Lori Deaton

Perhaps movie reviewer Cranky Hanke selected the headline blended into a photo of George Clooney leading off the review of the movie “Hail, Caesar!” [“Cranky Hanke Reviews & Listings,” Feb. 10, Xpress].

It stated, “Pick of the Week” when it should have said, “Pick of the Weak.”

Along with the other local movie critics, Ken raved about the worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life, and that covers about seven decades.

I have trusted Ken’s judgment totally since retiring to Asheville in December of 2000.

Over that entire period, he misled me only once — until this debacle.

This movie had no plot, a pathetic script, no viable dialogue, insane costumes and came across as a very bad satire.

Please tell Mr. Hanke to approach future reviews with more discretion before he loses all of his faithful readers. In the future, I will use extreme caution in considering his selections.

— Chuck Werle


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11 thoughts on “Letter writer: ‘Hail, Caesar!’ should have been ‘Pick of the Weak’

  1. Big Al

    You want Mountain X to chastise a movie reviewer because little ole’ YOU disagree with him?

    Get over yourself.

  2. bsummers

    Chuck – Coen Bros. movies aren’t always for everyone. For a while, my favorite movie of all time was their Raising Arizona> I talked my uncle into going to see it – I assumed he’d love it as much as I did. But he hated it. He came out of the theater angry that I had ‘tricked’ him into such an incredible waste of time. He couldn’t believe that I sincerely liked the movie. You sound like him.

    I can’t wait to see Hail, Caeser!.

    • Ken Hanke

      Now you see, Barry, I hate Raising Arizona. Sometimes you just can’t win.

      I am sorry that Chuck didn’t like Hail, Caesar!. I don’t deliberately mislead anyone, but it’s something that will occasionally happen. Honestly, if this is only the second bum steer I’ve given him in 5+ years, I really don’t think I’m doing that bad.

      • bsummers

        Again with the spoilers, Hanke! When I want to find out if you agree with my picks, I’ll ask! If I listened to you, then I wouldn’t go see Raising Arizona.

        Me too, Chuck. Let’s torch & pitchfork this guy.

        • NFB

          If I listened to you, then I wouldn’t go see Raising Arizona.

          You say that like it’s a bad thing.

          • bsummers

            “Do these balloons blow up into funny shapes & all?”

            “Well, no… Not unless round is funny.”

            Shakespeare, dammit!

  3. Lisa Watters

    I went with my Mom – she loved it, I was more, ‘Meh.’ Two opposing views in the SAME family.

  4. boatrocker

    Haven’t seen “Hail Caesar” yet, but there are so many Lebowski quotes that would do well here for a back and forth movie disagreement
    – but I must resist.

    To borrow a phrase, by almighty Fogarty, I must resist making Cohen references here. Too late.

    After me badgering my parents to watch “No Country For Old Men”, they looked at me like I was the milkman’s child. I had to do aw DNA swab to prove I was related to them, so don’t always take one’s parent/s’ opinions for the filmical arts.

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