Open letter to Tim Moffitt

Dear Representative Moffitt: we need your help over here in north Asheville badly. The clueless City Council wants to make Charlotte Street three lanes, even though it is one of the busiest streets in the city. Can you believe it? Of course you can. You’ve danced with those folks before. That’s why I’m writing you.

I know that you and the new boys in Raleigh are used to working on things that aren’t broken and fixing them. Things like the water, airport, county commissioner elections, voter ID, etc. But if you stretch just a bit I believe that you all can handle a real problem. The problem is that the City Council wants to take a street with heavy traffic, few pedestrians and even fewer bicycle riders and make it into some sort of hell-hole obstacle course for drivers and a disincentive for local businesses.

Can you get a local bill passed that will let the county or state take control of Charlotte Street and keep it four lanes? You’ve come through before on the items I mentioned earlier. This should be a snap for a man of your talents and the Proud Pachyderm team.

We could even change the name to Moffitt Street. Has a nice ring, doesn’t it? Now that I think about it, you could sell it to a private company and they could make it a toll road. How sweet would that be?

Naturally, you would have to add a little bit of subterfuge by running a study commission or something but, heck, you’ve done that before. We all know how that sucker would come out (wink, wink). …

Unlike you bright guys, the City Council is paying $50,000, initially, for a fifth study even though they know the answer they want. Can you believe how naive these people are? Bilking taxpayers just so they get re-elected? You guys would never pander to your base like that.

Thanks again for all the great work you’ve done for the citizens of Asheville and I hope you can win one more for the Gripper.

— Max Alexander

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5 thoughts on “Open letter to Tim Moffitt

  1. Ascend (of Asheville)

    What Ideology? You mean the Objective Absurdists? That’s not an ideology, it’s a pulp fiction fan club.

    • Ascend (of Asheville)

      Geez, Ascend, you talk as if you were answering some other comments.. wait, where did all the comments go?
      I call foul.

    • Margaret Williams

      Some previous comments were deleted. We encourage readers to criticize the idea(s), not the letter writer or other commenters.

  2. Meiling Dai

    According to a District 116 map acquired
    from the Buncombe County Board of Elections,
    Rep. Tim Moffitt does not represent
    North Asheville. He only represents a sliver
    of South Asheville. Perhaps, you should
    be writing Rep. Susan Fisher instead.

    • bsummers

      Do you not get the sarcastic point of the letter, or are you attempting the double-down-twist-around-counter-sarcastic? ‘Cause I hurt my back last time I tried that.

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