There was “lockjaw” on Tunnel Road one recent Saturday afternoon—like there was on Black Friday. I parked in Kmart and walked to Belks because it took me four traffic lights to get out of Best Buy. There was a cop in the mall watching “Boobs & Butts.” He told me that he was there in case something happened. I said, “Man, it is happening outside on South Tunnel Road. He said Asheville cops have to get paid extra to work traffic!
I was in Atlanta last month, and the cops were directing traffic at Lenox Square Mall—and on Sunday, at churches on Peachtree Avenue!
When is this sleepy old town going to get modern—even with sidewalks on Tunnel Road or cops that patrol and work traffic (when I was a kid we called them traffic cops—like in the song “Frostie the Snowman”) or asphalt for road holes instead of speed bumps!?
— Earl Sunderhaus