What’s love got to do with it?

I was asked the other day how I felt about Valentine’s Day. On the pro side, even though we should love each other each day of the year and let those we care about know it, we don’t always do it. Having a holiday that celebrates love, and reminds us to recognize it, can’t be all bad. Every day we are bombarded by the media with more bad news, evil gossip of celebrities’ private lives, discussions of corruption in our government. It is warming for me, especially on a cold February day, to see that love prevails anyhow. Even if I am not ready to embrace a serious relationship, I am not bitter at those who have found someone and feel like cheesing it up on Valentine’s Day.

My con with this holiday is that there are many, many single people out there, and Feb. 14 is traditionally about being amorous with a significant other. I know a few people who intensely yearn for this and feel frustrated because they haven’t found that person yet. For some, this holiday calls attention to that fact and propels them to feel a little more lonely than usual. They basically feel left out.

But “when the time is right, it will happen.” It’s not up to you or me, completely. We can’t force people to love us back, and we can’t pretend it’s the real thing. We don’t control who, where, or what time. Fate has a little something to do with that. And you cannot will someone to love you equally in a relationship. It can be a huge gamble. There honestly isn’t much we can do regarding the meeting of our “true love.” But looking nice, brushing teeth, eye contact and having something interesting and unique to offer indeed helps! Oh, and did I mention believing in yourself?

Do you believe in yourself? Are you capable of loving and accepting who you are? Would you want to be with someone who didn’t love and accept themselves?

However annoyed or delighted you are with a Hallmark holiday, remember this: Love yourself first! It’s OK to be single, it’s OK to be married, it’s OK to have multiple lovers, to be cautious, to be so cheesy, to throw all caution to the wind. It’s OK to blow off the holiday altogether, and it’s OK to put up red and pink lights in your windows. As long as you are being true to your soul, and taking care of yourself, love will come into your life in some form or another, and more likely than not, it won’t arrive in the way or at the time you imagined or desired. It may be better than anything you imagined or had before. Be grateful for the love that’s all around you currently! Find and harness it inside yourself as well.

— Michelle Marie Kaczmarcik
Optimistic Flying Frog waitress
Asheville