Author:   Francis X. Friel

The Story: An ex-CIA agent must escort one of the world's deadliest assassins to testify against the ex-Soviet dictator responsible for his capture. The Lowdown: But mostly it's just really funny and looks like hell.

The Story: When the FBI is dispatched to investigate a homicide on a Native American reservation, a local hunter must choose whether to assist the investigation or take matters into his own hands. The Lowdown: A clumsy blend of family drama and police procedural that tries to shock but can barely stay grounded.

The Story: Surly Squirrel and the gang are back, this time to stop the Mayor from turning their home, Liberty Park, into Liberty Land, a garish amusement park. The Lowdown: Weird, cool and funny, this is your best bet this week if you're trying to decide between this and the mountain of garbage currently being…

The Story: When a young boy is kidnapped, his mother pursues the abductors and will use any means necessary to get him back. The Lowdown: Fast and fun but with zero narrative cohesion, this brain-dead thriller is well under 90 minutes so it at least doesn't overstay its welcome.

The Story: A Meh emoji must escape deletion by finding his way to the Cloud while being hunted by bots controlled by Smiler, the sadistic leader of Textopolis. The Lowdown: This is a Sony commercial.

The Story: Four best friends attend Essence Fest to relive their glory days and support each other as money problems, family drama and the realities of adulthood threaten to get in the way of their good time. The Lowdown: The raunchiest, wildest and most vibrant mainstream comedy we've gotten in a long time, this is…

The Story: An unpopular high school girl finds a magic box that will grant her seven wishes, but when dead bodies start piling up she figures out that the box has an agenda of its own. The Lowdown: Bland, aimless and derivative in the extreme, this is a movie you'll swear didn't exist a year…

The Story: In 14th-century Italy, three young nuns drink, swear and party while vying for the attentions of a young man on the run from a nobleman. The Lowdown: A great cast overcomes the limitations of an uneven script to produce the funniest comedy of 2017 so far.

The Story: Gru and his long-lost twin brother, Dru, team up, along with the Minions, to stop washed-up '80s TV child star-turned-jewel-thief Balthazar Bratt from destroying Hollywood as revenge for canceling his show. The Lowdown: Box office notwithstanding, this is high in the running for worst children's film of the year so far.

The Story: The Decepticons make their play to destroy the Earth while the Autobots, along with an ancient brotherhood tasked with protecting them, must race against the clock to save it. The Lowdown: Total Bayhem.

The Story: Two sisters vacationing in Mexico get trapped on the ocean floor, where they struggle to keep calm, conserve oxygen and fend off the sharks they thought would make for some cool photo souvenirs. The Lowdown: A decent little indie thriller with some tense moments, good scares and appropriately claustrophobic cinematography that make it…

The Story: The life of slain gangsta rapper Tupac Shakur, from his early days in Brooklyn and Oakland to his meteoric rise and eventual murder. The Lowdown: A worst-case scenario of a biopic, the film tells us almost nothing about its subject, showing us what happened without ever giving us a reason to care.

The Story: An heir to a family fortune seeks revenge against the woman who may have killed the man who raised him, but falling in love with her makes it all the more complicated. The Lowdown: Rachel Weisz does her best to bring some life to the proceedings, but the material, sadly, is no match…

The Story: Dav Pilkey's book series gets its first big-screen adaptation as a pair of elementary school friends hypnotize their principal, turning him into their very own superhero, Captain Underpants. The Lowdown: This Dreamworks Animation production is mercifully aimed only at the kids in the audience and revels in its own universe of scatological stupidity.