“North Carolina’s capital punishment has not done a better job deterring murder than Michigan’s life-in-prison rule: Homicide rates for the two states are virtually the same.”
“Apparently, Asheville has earned the dishonorable distinction of placing in the top 10% of most violent cities in the entire country.”
“Our plane is intended to ‘rule the skies until 2070.’”
“The community has serious concerns about the proposed development on Richmond Hill.”
“I think our local mail carriers are really doing a great job in the face of awful problems.”
Xpress is now accepting submissions for the 2021 Kids Issue! The theme: “My Great Idea.” Deadline is Friday, Jan. 29.
“We should be giving tax incentives to local sustainable businesses, not to a multinational corporation that relies on fossil fuels and perpetuates a war industry that is the scourge of the world.”
“The whole procedure took about two hours and cost about $100 to save lives and structure.”
“Dating is hard in general. Dating during pandemic? Even harder. Dating during a pandemic in Asheville? Wut?”
Xpress staffers offer their humorous predictions for a year that might be even weirder than 2020. Asheville-area media, the Asheville Police Department, political figures and local protesters are all up for the skewering.
Editor’s note: The following story, unlike the rest of Mountain Xpress’s award-winning coverage of local news and events throughout the rest of the year, is 100% fake. Feeling a little sluggish after 2020? Curious how you’ll readjust once things eventually return to normal? These five fictitious classes might be your answer. Please and Thank You: […]
Proposed changes to the city noise ordinance were part of a nefarious, multiyear plot by mimes, hell-bent on monopolizing the vibrant arts scene with their quiet ways.
From our publisher: “As 2021 dawns, we need to adjust our operations in anticipation of what’s shaping up to be another challenging year. Our focus and commitment must be on positioning Mountain Xpress to continue serving the Western North Carolina community and preserving our ability to rebound when business conditions ease.”
“Imagine my shock and utter dismay to find two full-page ads for cigarettes.”
By Irene Olds