Cranky Hanke’s Weekly Reeler May 11-17: Everything Must Go—even bridesmaid­s and the priest

After the surprise box-office juggernaut of Fast Five week before last and the unsurprising box-office success of Thor, it comes as no great shock that the studios aren’t bringing out the big guns this week—especially when you consider that whatever opens this weekend is almost certain to get trounced next weekend when Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides comes out. So what do we get? Well, from the mainstream we have Bridesmaids and Priest (both opening everywhere except the Beaucatcher). On the art/indie side things look a little more interesting with Everything Must Go (opening at The Carolina and the Fine Arts).

Cranky Hanke’s Screening Room: In search of the elusive (insert title here)

I suppose it happens less often these days, but I imagine it still does happen that most people with a serious interest in movies have—or have had—some title or other they’ve read about or heard about that they’ve never been able to see. This used to be common back in the pre-video days. Now, it sometimes seems that nearly everything your little viewing heart could desire is but a trip to the video store, a browse on Amazon, or even a mouse or remote control click away. That’s not really true, of course, but it’s certainly more the case now that it ever was. I sometimes wonder if this is necessarily a good thing.

Dylan Dog: Dead of Night

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The Story A detective who used to specialize in the supernatural finds himself called back into the fray of the undead by circumstances. The Lowdown: A lot of potential is wasted through miscasting, atmosphere-challenged direction and a generally pedestrian plot.

Fast Five

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The Story: In this entry our heroes end up in Brazil where they find themselves in trouble with a drug lord and a special DEA agent. The Lowdown: Preposterous, over-the-top, way too long, but it's still entertaining nonsense with excellently crafted -- albeit ridiculous -- action scenes.

Prom

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The Story: Well-scrubbed, well-behaved teens suffer the rigors of preparing for prom. The Lowdown: Utterly unrealistic look at one of the rituals of high school. It may be harmless, but it's also mighty boring.

Rubber

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The Story: A group of people gather in the desert to watch a story about a sentient tire that goes on a killing spree. The Lowdown: It's not only as improbable as it sounds, it's much more than that. Sometimes funny, always inventive, and determinedly strange. There's certainly nothing like it.

I Am

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The Story: Following a life-changing accident, Hollywood director Tom Shadyac reassess his life and starts looking for answers to what's wrong (and right) with the world. The Lowdown: Well-intentioned and generally entertaining documentary that suffers from a little too-much New Agey-ness and a little too-much of the director.

Walkabout

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Classic World Cinema by Courtyard Gallery will present Walkabout at 8 p.m. on Friday, May 6, at Phil Mechanic Studios (109 Roberts St., River Arts District, upstairs in the Railroad Library). Info: 273-3332, www.ashevillecourtyard.com

The Ghoul

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The Thursday Horror Picture Show will screen The Ghoul Thursday, May 5, at 8 p.m. in the Cinema Lounge of The Carolina Asheville and will be hosted by Xpress movie critics Ken Hanke and Justin Souther.

Stranger Than Fiction

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The Asheville Film Society will screen Stranger Than Fiction Tuesday, May 10, at 8 p.m. in the Cinema Lounge of The Carolina Asheville and will be hosted by Xpress movie critics Ken Hanke and Justin Souther. Hanke is the artistic director of the AFS.

Cranky Hanke’s Weekly Reeler May 4-10: Summer’s here and it’s mighty Thor

Put bluntly, last week’s releases were pretty darn grim. When the best thing that opened—apart from the art title Of Gods and Men—was an action movie starring Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, and Dwayne Johnson. you know things weren’t looking any too rosy. What of this week? Well, there are two indies—Rubber and I Am (both at The Carolina)—two rom-coms of sorts—Jumping the Broom and Something Borrowed (everywhere but Carmike)—and, of course, Thor (again, everywhere but Carmike). So what of them? What indeed.

Cranky Hanke’s Screening Room: Titles that are better than the movies they adorn

The other evening Justin Souther and I—and maybe a few others—were loitering in the bar of the Cinema Lounge of The Carolina having a meaningful conversation in depth (read: we were killing time) when—for reasons that are obscure to me now—I chanced to mention the movie Werewolf in a Girls’ Dormitory (1962). Upon invoking said title, I found myself on the receiving end of one of those looks. You know the kind—expressing disbelief in your veracity. I made it clear that indeed there is such a movie and that it could hardly be said to live up to its title. This in turn led to the discussion that brought us to the state of events you’re encountering now.

Starring: Edward G. Robinson, Marian Marsh, H.B. Warner, Aline MacMahon, Boris Karloff

Five Star Final

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The Asheville Film Society will screen Five Star Final Tuesday, May 3, at 8 p.m. in the Cinema Lounge of The Carolina Asheville and will be hosted by Xpress movie critics Ken Hanke and Justin Souther. Hanke is the artistic director of the AFS.

Jane Eyre

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The Story: Young Jane Eyre is hired as a tutor at a grim English manor owned by a gloomy, mysterious man with a dark secret. The Lowdown: Solid, atmospheric film version of the book, blessed by strong visuals and performances, though somewhat let down by one weak aspect -- and possibly by the familiarity of…

Of Gods and Men

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The Story: A group of monks in a small town in Algeria must decide whether or not to leave in the face of terrorist attacks that increasingly threaten them. The Lowdown: What might have been a preachy tract of a movie emerges instead as a thoughtful, compelling, human drama of considerable power.

Sans Soleil

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Classic World Cinema by Courtyard Gallery will present Sans Soleil at 8 p.m. on Friday, April 29, at Phil Mechanic Studios, 109 Roberts St., River Arts District, upstairs in the Railroad Library). Info: 273-3332, www.ashevillecourtyard.com