Actually, I know it’s better than last week, since I’ve already seen Get Low, which is worth more than all five of last week’s movies put together. The fact that we’re otherwise getting another of those fake cinéma vérité horror pictures (rated PG-13, no less), The Last Exorcism, and some kind of cops-and-robbers flick (also rated PG-13) called Takers is another matter. But I’m betting it’s safe to say they won’t be able to scale the Everestian heights of unmitigated awfulness attained by Vampires Suck.

On Wednesday, Sept. 1 at 7:30 p.m., the newly remastered and restored print of Ken Russell’s Tommy will burst into life on the big screen at The Carolina Asheville in all its Quintophonic sound glory. It marks the first time this restoration has been shown in this part of the world. To date, it’s only been shown—to sold-out houses—in Los Angeles by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences and New York by Lincoln Center. The minute I learned of its existence, I was determined that the Asheville Film Society would bring it to town—and here it is.

Five mainstream (more or less) titles open this week and I can’t say I’m exactly overwhelmed with excitement. In fact, I’m not even whelmed, though the prospect of the latest assault from Messrs. Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, Vampires Suck, tends to make me want to hide under the bed. The others — Nanny McPhee Returns, The Switch, Lottery Ticket, Piranha 3D — are less alarming, but not the sort of thing designed to get my pulse racing or warm my cockles.

A day or so ago, one of my oldest friends—we’ll call him Jackson, since he has a mania for anonymity that transcends my understanding—asked me to come up with a list of movies that his daughter (14 going on 15) should see. Now, I’m the last person on earth I’d ask such a thing. (Let’s face it, I’m the guy who had a four-year-old daughter who could sing “Sweet Transvestite” from The Rocky Horror Picture Show.) But then I’ve never rated Jackson’s judgment all that high. After all, he’s been friends with me for 38 years. That tells you something.