Bean

Maggie West, our 13-year-old teen reporter (who you may remember from her review of Masterminds) was given her second assignment: to review Bean, the film version of the PBS television show featuring the misadventures of one discombobulated fellow known as Mr. Bean. Below, then, is Maggie’s take on this popular British comedian’s foray into the world of American cinema:

It’s a freak, no it’s an idiot … no, it’s Mr. Bean, the new British comedian who has taken America by storm.
This stringy-Bean-guy is the one who is always getting himself into sticky, outrageous (and most of the time, stupid) situations. The movie opens when, in a desperate attempt to rid themselves of Bean, his employers embellish his title to read: “Dr. Bean, The Great Art Expert” — and then ship him off to the United States to give an intelligent speech on one of our great works of art, “Whistler’s Mother.” Bean, being Bean, manages to destroy the painting (worth $50 million), eject a slew of virtual-reality passengers from their seats at a theme park, and blow a turkey into smithereens — launching the bits throughout a kitchen. If you are a Bean-lover, like me, and have seen the TV series, you will probably be disappointed with this latest performance. It’s not nearly as funny as the TV show, and reaches to all-new heights of grossness, such as when Bean accidently explodes a bag of vomit onto an upperclass businessman. Now, this might appeal to certain teenage boys I know (who shall remain nameless) — but I thought this incident was pretty sick. So, if you are the type who thinks exploding vomit bags are funny, you will love this movie … but everyone else should just stay home.