The latest number in Hollywood’s knee-slapping, elbow-flailing dance with progressive politics does a girl-power-fueled, social justice backflip — and falls on its face.
While starting out with promise, Black Christmas quickly goes bust — literally. The film’s heroes, goddesses, divas — or whatever they’d prefer to be called — find themselves at odds with a classicist professor, plus a bust of their college’s founder. (Yes, the bust itself is a villain trying to subjugate women and place men in the eternal seat of power.) This is the only aspect of the film that manages to be clever in the age of Rhodes Must Fall and countless other campus agitations that center on demolishing statuary.
In a time when real-life college students believe that marble or bronze can wield immense, almost supernatural power, the makings of a truly entertaining horror film go up for grabs. To that effect, Black Christmas starts out as the most brilliant satire of academic derangement to hit screens thus far, until you realize the sad truth: The movie takes the wokeness seriously. Without delay, a golden opportunity becomes a golden turkey.
So seriously does director Sophia Takal take her wokeness that the politics completely upstage the actors and consume the entire plot like hungry termites. Likewise lost in the crumbling structure, the Christmas theme is simply ignored. The result is a messy, incoherent schlockfest that will fail to impress discerning horror fans and casual audiences alike.
It’s no longer new or especially bold to place women at the center of a slasher film. Quite the opposite, it’s a necessary ingredient in the recipe. The resilient “final girl” has always been the force that finally puts the monster away and restores peace before the final scare. The girls in Black Christmas are not final girls, however, but insufferable automatons.
Steer far clear of this movie. Check out Night of the Creeps (1986) instead if you’re in the mood for some real collegiate tomfoolery.
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