Whatever else can be said about it — pro or con — Kevin Smith’s Tusk is exactly what it has been promoted as — a movie in which a mad surgeon transforms Justin Long into a walrus. That’s also useful for weeding out potentially inappropriate viewers. Let’s face the fact — some people just don’t want to see Justin Long turned into a walrus. I know that’s hard to believe, but I’m sure it’s true. And those of you who don’t — and you know who you are — should take note. Those of you who might like to see such a thing (I include myself in that group) would still do well to approach Mr. Smith’s latest with a degree of caution — and reined-in expectations. While it delivers — and quite well — on its promise, that’s about all it has going for it. That may or may not be enough. A taste for Kevin Smith’s sense of humor will help. How much is open to question.
When our stalwart little band of reviewers wandered out into the hallway of The Carolina after the 9 a.m. press screening, one of our number (Chip Kauffman) referred to it as “The Devil Bat for the 21st century.” Fair enough, but the bargain basement 1940 Bela Lugosi film had the good sense — and common decency — to run only a few minutes past the 60-minute mark. Tusk insists on going on for 102 minutes that it can’t really support. If the film lost most of its background material about Wallace Bryton’s (Long) relationship with girlfriend Ally Leon (Genesis Rodriguez, Identity Thief), it would have helped. (I mean nobody really cares, especially in this kind of picture.) The film would also have benefitted by being less enamored of its special guest star (a famous actor in heavy makeup here billing himself as “Guy Lapointe”) whose scenes tend to drag on unnecessarily. Somewhere inside Tusk is a solid 80-minute amusingly warped horror movie. You can find it, but there’s a lot of excess blubber on this walrus.
The film opens with the obviously preposterous claim that it was inspired by true events. Those true events, however, extend only to the fact that Smith came up with the idea (based on a bogus ad) on his podcast and allowed listeners to vote on whether it should be made into a movie. Obviously, the ayes had it. So we have Long’s Wallace as a kind of onscreen alter ego for Smith. That works well enough. Wallace heads to Canada (cue the “aboot” jokes) to interview the Kill Bill Kid (Doug Banks), who has become an Internet sensation for accidentally cutting off his own leg and posting the video online. But things don’t go as planned, and rather than return home with nothing, Wallace contacts a man who has put up a sign promising free room and board to anyone who will live with him and listen to his lifetime’s worth of stories. This turns out to be Howard Howe (Michael Parks), who drugs Wallace and sets out turning him into an ersatz walrus. Unsurprisingly, Wallace is not in the least happy when he wakes up minus a leg and strapped to a wheelchair.
All of this works pretty well, with Parks having a fine time as the loony walrus fancier. He alone would make the movie worthwhile. The major downside is that Smith has the tendency to aspire to creating those Quentin Tarantino monologue arias, and his writing skills aren’t on that level. This also plagues the scenes with “Guy Lapointe.” The character — an unhinged and discharged (or in his term “excused”) homicide detective obsessed with tracking down serial killer Howe — is fine, but it all goes on too long and is not nearly as clever as Smith thinks. Similarly, while the business with Ally and Wallace’s podcast sidekick (Haley Joel Osment, to whom adulthood has not been kind) tracking down Wallace is necessary to the plot, it isn’t all that interesting. In short, the whole thing is a mixed bag, but one sufficiently twisted — and with enough goodies in that bag — to be worth a look. That’s assuming the basic premise intrigues you. And, yes, the Fleetwood Mac song suggested by the title shows up. Rated R for some disturbing violence/gore, language and sexual content.
I didn’t mind the scenes with Wallace (incidentally the name of the Walter Lantz cartoon walrus character) and his girlfriend since she provides us with the background on how he lost his humanity setting up the final shot of his being turned into a walrus in order to regain it but I absolutely would have eliminated the “Guy Lapointe” scenes altogether which would have brought the film in at under 90 minutes.
But you see, you’re wanting a better movie than I am. I neither want, nor need all that background. I came for schlock, not life lessons. I also don’t mind “Guy Lapointe,” but there needs to be less of him. And if you cut him altogether, you end up with more of the second leads, and those I do not want more of.
A taste for Kevin Smith’s sense of humor will help. How much is open to question.
As someone who enjoyed his ’90s comedies…I will be watching them again instead of Tusk, which might have earned three chuckles.
The best I can say is I didn’t mind his ’90s work (except Clerks, which leaves me cold). That doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll be watching Tusk again, though my taste for horror trash is greater than yours.
I’m always wanting a better movie. Sometimes I get one.
You honestly went to a movie about a madman turning someone into a walrus hoping for a better movie?
I like Dogma, Mallrats, and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back more than Clerks. Chasing Amy left me cold on my lone viewing.
While I own Dogma and Strike Back (not from the ’90s). I seriously doubt I’ll feel the need to watch them again.
I typed “(2001…I know)” after Strikes Back, then deleted it because I think of it as consistent with the Smith films that preceded it. Clerks II, less so; Jersey Girl, even less.
Now, I find Strikes Back an improvement — esp. as filmmaking — on the earlier films. Let’s not talk about Jersey Girl, though.
Talk about what?
Good.
Well, I do like Michael Parks, and it sounds wacky enough to spend a couple of hours forgetting about things for awhile. And I think it’s even coming to GB.
To you, I would recommend it.
I did get a better movie with TUSK. I was referring to a lot of the movies that I have to go see.
Most of those, however, history tells me are not going to be better.
Really? You mean you’re not looking forward to ATLAS SHRUGGED 3?
I am living in hope that it never gets here.
I want AS3 to come here. Although I haven’t seen it, I’ve already written my review and it’s guaranteed to be “fair and balanced”.
Do you plan on watching it?
Eventually.
Masochist.
Coo coo cucho.
I believe the chorus to I AM THE WALRUS is “Goo Goo Goo Joob”.
Not “Goo goo g’joob”?
I think it’s ‘goo goo ga joob” on the original lyric sheet in the album.
Depends; I found three different interpretations of those ‘words’ when I did a search, including the ones I used as well as yours. I don’t have any of their music in written form, so I’ve never been quite sure of the spelling. At least the point was taken; I ‘imagine’ John Lennon’s song wasn’t used in the film, though.
So has anybody gone to see this?
No, huh?
Other than the Fleetwood Mac song, I’ve forgotten nearly all about it over the course of a week.
That doesn’t mean nobody saw it.
And a surprisingly decent no. of folks seem to have seen it, but they don’t seem to be talking.
There is either nothing more to be said about Tusk or the folks who saw it are not active on these boards.
Or they’re too embarrassed to talk about it.