We’re not that bad

Posted on by Kristen Valladares

While I can’t speak for all Floridians, I would like to voice my humble opinion as a recent transplant to Asheville.

Please consider that while you are chasing me off the road sporting all your open-border bumper stickers and screaming obscenities over my Florida tags, I have migrated to Asheville with all the love and appreciation for this splendid section of the earth that my little heart can muster. I am purchasing a home built in 1946, changing the A/C and heating to solar paneling and planting as many native tree species as my lot can sustain.

I left Florida in part due to the construction gluttony spreading like a virus over land that was once an endless sea of orange groves. I can be your most devoted ally in saving the slopes, supporting local growers, monitoring local politics and contributing to the local arts community. I will agree that my driving could use some work—it’s a combination of being used to driving on straight, flat land under 35 mph, lest I get a $200-plus speeding ticket, and being awestruck and distracted by these majestic mountains that many Asheville natives take for granted.

I don’t want to bulldoze your skyline any more than you do. And while I witness pickup trucks with N.C. tags carelessly hit groundhogs and squirrels, I’m the one pulling over to rescue the wildlife. I’m investing all I have in this community, and I only ask in return to be welcomed with the kind of Southern hospitality I’d hoped for in my family’s reception.

— The Floridiot (Kristen Valladares)
Candler

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One thought on “We’re not that bad”

  1. nuvue

    Hi Kristen
    I always thought joking about “Floridiots” was all in fun. I needed a rental car for awhile and got one with Fla. plates. I was amazed at the vitriole some punks spewed to me…a NC native. Next time I will hold my tongue….besides, some of my best friends are from Fla.
    Welcome to NC

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