Cranky Hanke’s Weekly Reeler Aug. 10-16: Help, Snowflower­s, Destinatio­ns, Mountains, Glee and more

Lots of titles this week—six of them, in fact. We have four mainstream ones—The Help, 30 Minutes or Less, Final Destination 5 and Glee: The 3D Concert Movie—and two art/indie films—The Last Mountain (Fine Arts) and Snowflower and the Secret Fan (The Carolina). I’ve no earthly idea why The Help opens on Wednesday, but it’s perhaps just as well with this much. Then again, except for movie critics, I don’t see a whole lot of crossover appeal here.

Cranky Hanke’s Weekly Reeler Aug. 3-8: Change-up to a Trip with Nim and Other Apes

The Smurfs to one side, last week didn’t turn out so badly. So what of this week? Well, let’s see. In the land of the mainstream we have The Change-up and Rise of the Planet of the Apes (both everywhere but the Carmike). And on the art film side of the ledger there’s Project Nim and The Trip (both at The Carolina). Apart from the unintentional connection between two movies involving chimpanzees, it’s at least diverse.

Cranky Hanke’s Weekly Reeler July 20-26: Captain America and the Submarine with Benefits

Only three movies come our way this week—two in the mainstream realm and one art title. One the mainstream side we get Captain America: The First Avenger and Friends with Benefits. Neither of these carry anything like the level of Harry Potter excitement—and I am skeptical (oh, yes, skeptical) that either will dethrone Mr. Potter as the top-of-the-pops movie. Submarine (which takes place in Wales and not on a submarine)—opening this Friday at The Carolina—certainly has no such aims, but that doesn’t keep it from being one of the best movies I’ve seen this year.

Cranky Hanke’s Weekly Reeler July 13-19: Harry Potter and the Queen to Play Beginners

It’s Harry Potter week. What more do you want? Well, the folks at Disney seem to think you want some kind of quasi-reboot of Winnie the Pooh, which I guess works for younger children and those who think Harry Potter movies are only a step removed from attending a Satanic mass. Plus, the art film is alive and well with Queen to Play at The Carolina and Beginners at the Fine Arts. Put mildly, I’ve seen less enticing weeks—like last week and the week before.

Cranky Hanke’s Weekly Reeler July 6-12: Horse Whisperers­, Trolls, Horrible Bosses and a Zookeeper

Last week was a curious mix. There were two movies that turned out to be somewhat better than expected, and one that proved to be every bit as awful as one might have suspected. This week—well, we’ll see. In the mainsteam, we have two mid-range movies—Horrible Bosses and Zookeeper—since no one sees much point in shoehorning a big picture in between Transformers last week and the final Harry Potter movie next week. On the art/indie front, The Carolina opens the surprisingly strong and popular documentary Buck and the giant monster flick TrollHunter.

Cranky Hanke’s Weekly Reeler June 29-July 5: Transformi­ng Larry Crowne in Monte Carlo

This is one of those weeks where even writing about what’s in store for us at the movies is like trying to shove myself through a garden hose. The mere thought of Larry Crowne, Monte Carlo, and Transformers: Dark of the Moose…er Moon makes me want to take a nap. The prospect of actually sitting through them, however, makes me want to hide behind the sofa till the whole thing blows over. There aren’t even any art/indie titles to lighten the grim prospect.

Elitist Bastards: Bastardver­sary

In this special one-year anniversary episode of the Elitist Bastards Go To The Movies podcast, Mountain Xpress film critics Ken Hanke and Justin Souther share their thoughts on current releases Thor, Something Borrowed, Jumping the Broom and Everything Must Go. The dynamic reviewing duo then discuss the classic Ken Russell film Savage Messiah (next week’s Asheville Film Society screening) before giving their critical forecasts for this weekend’s new releases Decisions, Bridesmaids and Priest.

Cranky Hanke’s Weekly Reeler May 11-17: Everything Must Go—even bridesmaid­s and the priest

After the surprise box-office juggernaut of Fast Five week before last and the unsurprising box-office success of Thor, it comes as no great shock that the studios aren’t bringing out the big guns this week—especially when you consider that whatever opens this weekend is almost certain to get trounced next weekend when Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides comes out. So what do we get? Well, from the mainstream we have Bridesmaids and Priest (both opening everywhere except the Beaucatcher). On the art/indie side things look a little more interesting with Everything Must Go (opening at The Carolina and the Fine Arts).