N-Secure

There was a moment during the awkwardly titled N-Secure that I had hope. Not that the movie would somehow turn out to be worthwhile. No, I had hope that all the amateurism—the bad acting, the bad script, the bad editing, the bad direction—would somehow coalesce into an amazing symphony of accidental hilarity and malformed entertainment. But as quickly as that hope sprung up it was gone, as I soon realized that the movie was simply born of good, old-fashioned ineptitude.

Why people spent money and time on this project will forever be a mystery to me. Even more perplexing is why N-Secure is in movie theaters, the same place where real movies made by people who actually understand how to make them are shown. N-Secure is one of those movies that reminds you that—no matter how bad of a product Hollywood fobs off onto the public—they generally understand how to create a professional piece of entertainment. Here, we get a movie made by people who I’m amazed even know how to turn a camera on.

The movie resembles an attempt at some sort of Tyler Perry-like clone, with its connections to Perry’s films and stage productions, plus its penchant for melodramatics, but sans Perry’s religiosity and cross-dressing. The press release for the film calls it Fatal Attraction (1987) meets TV’s C.S.I., but in practice N-Secure is more like a less charming version of Tommy Wiseau’s The Room (2003). Yes, the movie is that shoddy.

Perry stage alum Cordell Moore makes his film debut as David, a wealthy businessman who spends his days at the office guzzling energy drinks and looking at nondescript pie charts. He is also borderline obsessive compulsive and a bit controlling in his relationship with his fiancée Robin (TV actress Essence Atkins). They’re all set to get hitched until she almost cheats on David with her best friend’s (TV actress Tempestt Bledsoe) fiancé, Isaac (Lamman Rucker, Why Did I Get Married Too?).

After that, the wedding is off. David starts a new relationship with his secretary’s (Toni Trucks, Music and Lyrics) cousin (Denise Boutte, Why Did I Get Married?), who he immediately starts abusing psychologically due to his insecurities and apparent daddy issues. Meanwhile, Robin finds out she is pregnant and must figure out a way to get David to take responsibility for the child, while Isaac turns up dead in a car wreck. The film is filled with this kind of hoary dramatics, which might have been kind of entertaining except that director David M. Matthews has no idea what to do with the material. Presumably, the movie is meant as some kind of character study of David’s descent into madness, but his madness is relegated to simply turning him into an uncompromising jerk.

And that’s the bulk of the film. Cordell Moore displays his complete lack of acting ability as David flips his lid over the dumbest, most inconsequential stuff. It’s understandable why Moore has never made his film debut before now. The man has the range of driftwood. However, he’s only the most obvious person to blame, being the star and all. To be fair, the whole film limps along in the same inadequate manner. This may be one of the worst movies I have ever seen, and coming from someone who has seen a lot of bad movies, that’s saying something. Rated R for language, some sexual content and brief violence.