Reader Predictions for 2007
Last week, to get people in just the right cynical mood for the coming months, we published a collection of sarcastic predictions for the new year. On something of a whim, we also posted a call on our blogs (www.mountainx.com/blogs) for 2007 predictions. Many readers responded, and given that it’s otherwise kind of slow around here this time of year, we thought we’d share some of their more amusing thoughts with you.
“I have a gut feeling that traffic issues on Merrimon Ave. will surely be resolved thanks to the fantabulous new off/on ramps. Ha.”
– Mrs. Leah Marie, via the Xpress MySpace page
“I predict the faint sounds of drumming off in the distance, perhaps from the direction of Pritchard Park- Oh wait, that’s happening right now.”
– Mica Mouse
“Seeing as downtown is now host to a new Ale boutique and soon a new wine bar, I predict that the powers that be will just go ahead and turn our city into a big-assed airport, complete with more cutesy drinking spots, plus more kitschy gift shops, more abstract kinetic sculpture, moving sidewalks and duty-free shops (which no one who actually lives here will be able to shop in because we aren’t arriving or departing).”
– Ethan Clark
“I predict that in the year 2007 the tourist population will all decide that Asheville isn’t really all that just because we have a giant iron. Instead they will discover the wonder of Waynesville’s giant jellyfish.”
– Moira
“Orange Peel will book some mediocre jam bands. More construction on million dollar apts. downtown which will sit empty will take place. Someone will redesign a street to make it more confusing for drivers but more lucrative for [the city]. People on the City Council board will do what’s best for their financial interests rather than for the people. One big building built in the last 10 years will be vacated and more land will be cleared for another useless big building to be built – wait, I’m sorry, this is my list from 2003.”
– Exree Hipp
“I predict that Mountain Xpress will get a real A&E editor, who actually has an idea about music, not some roly-poly who sits in the dark, fantasizing what Superman really has under his cape, drawing cartoons of himself, trying to socialize with true music fans – Mr. Shanafelt go back to the dark side you live in, Princess Leah and the ewoks want you back [on] the farm. PLEEEEAAAAASSSSSEEEEE McGEEEEEEEE-hurry back !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
– The Truth
[Shanafelt replies: I’m actually more of a Slave Labor– comics kinda guy, and I’m far more interested in a Kurosawa flick than in anything Lucas has ever done. Still, this is the only prediction that’s actually come true, as Melanie McGee Bianchi returned to the A&E Editor post last week.]
[Contact Steve Shanafelt at unknowncity@hotmail.com.]
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