The profiler

The Suspect: Col. Bruce Hampton

He’s been making music for nearly 50 years, and according to Winston Elder’s blog dedicated to Col. Bruce, his music is a blend of, “one-part Frank Zappa, two-parts Charlie Christian, one-part John Lee Hooker and two-parts Captain Beefheart…” Given that all those musicians are no longer with us (Don Van Vliet, aka Capt. Beefheart, died a few weeks ago) don’t miss this chance to see a living legend, the man often referred to as “the daddy of us all.”

Can Be Found: Lexington Avenue Brewery, Friday, Jan. 14.

RIYD (Recommended if You Dig): Gov’t Mule, Widespread Panic.

You Should Go If: You believe, if done correctly, getting patted down at the airport can be an enjoyable experience for both parties; you refer to your apartment as “The Bat Cave”; you leave the toilet seat up purposely to make a political statement; What to do?: Brain cancer risks vs. how cool you look with a Bluetooth in your ear.

The Suspect: Railroad Earth

This six-member acoustic jam band was founded in 2001, and their music is a mix of bluegrass, rock ‘n’ roll, jazz and Celtic.  The group just released their self-titled fifth studio album, which contains fiddle parts to “break your heart,” says jambands.com. “Railroad Earth is the sound of a band that continues to mature without getting old.”

Can Be Found: The Orange Peel, Friday, Jan. 14.

RIYD: moe., String Cheese Incident, Keller Williams.

You Should Go If: You wander but you are not lost; your other car is a pair of hiking boots; a jam band from New Jersey whose fans call themselves “The Hobos” sounds like too much to resist; What to do?: The environmental evils of automobiles vs. how much you love bumper stickers.

The Suspect: Anberlin

Frontman Stephen Christian insists, “I’m not a preacher, I’m an entertainer,” but in most circles Anberlin is considered a Christian alternative rock band. The group’s fifth studio album, Dark is the Way, Light is a Place, came out in late 2010; Drummer Nathan Young described it as “darker” and “less poppy.” Review Rinse Repeat says that the release represents maturity and calls it, “Overall a brilliant album.”

Can Be Found: The Orange Peel, Sunday, Jan. 16.

RIYD: Third Eye Blind, Relient K, Keane.

You Should Go If: Ever since you saw The Social Network you can’t shake the feeling that all your friends are using you; You’re convinced that Jesus’ teachings around sexuality would be completely different if there had been any hot girls in biblical times; What to do?: Regarding your S.A.T. scores: God hates you vs. His Plan for you doesn’t include college.

The Suspect: Dave Desmelik
This Americana singer-songwriter hails from Alpharetta, Ga., though he eventually made his way out West to Arizona for several years, where he wrote songs and played with The John Treitor Band and Onus B. Johnson. Desmelik moved back East in 2003 and now calls Brevard home, and he’s already considered a local favorite; his singing and songs have won many “people’s choice” awards from both WNCW and the Mountain Xpress.

Can Be Found: Pisgah Brewing, Thursday Jan. 13; Stella Blue, Friday Jan. 14 (part of the Johnny Cash tribute show).

RIYD: Todd Snider, James McMurtry.

You Should Go If: Now that white strips are affordable, you really don’t see a reason to stop smoking; You keep your senior yearbook on your nightstand; You experience a double rainbow of joy every time you can match your toe socks with your scrunchy/your boxers with your bandana; What to do?: The nagging feeling that you really should get health insurance vs. the nagging feeling that you’re probably going to die tragically before you turn 40.