The Profiler

The descriptions of fan qualities and quirks are intended to be a playful take on what’s unique about all of us. The world would be a better place if everyone went out to see more live music.

The Suspect: Joe Pug and the Hundred Mile Band

This singer-songwriter was a senior playwriting major at UNC-Chapel Hill when he realized he was profoundly unhappy with his life. He dropped out and headed to Chicago, where he practiced carpentry by day and music by night. His fan base grows daily, boosted in part by his unique marketing campaign. He physically mails free two-song CDs (really, he asks for your address and how many you want) at joepugmusic.com.

Can Be Found: The Grey Eagle, Saturday, April 2.

RIYD (Recommended if You Dig): Langhorne Slim, Jackie Greene.

You Should Go If: You’re still boycotting NBC for what they did to Conan O’Brien; you use hand puppets to help you navigate difficult conversations; you are a true master of the “humblebrag”; the scariest April Fool’s prank ever pulled on you was … when your parents told you they were going to start charging you rent.

The Suspect: Easy All-Stars

Originally a studio band, this reggae collective grew popular by covering three classic albums (in their entirety): Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon, Radiohead’s OK Computer and the Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.  Next month the band releases First Light, its first full-length album of original songs.

Can Be Found: The Orange Peel, Saturday, April 2.

RIYD: 10 Ft. Ganja Plant, John Brown’s Body.

You Should Go If: You go on vacation to the same place every year; the deals you find at Amazing Savings have a starring role in your journal entries; a dreamcatcher hangs from your rear-view mirror; the scariest April Fool’s prank ever pulled on you was … when your kickball team pretended they didn’t want you as captain anymore.

The Suspect: Cage the Elephant

Hailing from Bowling Green, Kent., the band’s debut album sold 400,000 copies and led to three top 10 singles, including “Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked.” The band spent two years in England before returning to the U.S. to record a second CD, Thank You, Happy Birthday, which was the No. 1 downloaded album on iTunes the day of its January release.

Can Be Found: The Orange Peel, Monday, April 4.

RIYD: Kings of Leon, Black Crowes.

You Should Go If: When Modern Family unexpectedly airs a repeat it ruins the rest of your week; you could change anything in Asheville you’d make Bikram Hot Yoga and Five Guys hamburgers right next to each other; you redid your bracket seven times throughout the NCAA tourney, and you still only picked two teams in the Final Four; the scariest April Fool’s prank ever pulled on you was … when your friends told you that Malibu rum was carcinogenic.

The Suspect: Destroyer

This Canadian rock band is fronted by Daniel Bejar, who is also a member of the indie super group The New Pornographers.  His latest CD, Kaputt, was released earlier this year and received an 8.8 rating and “Best New Music” tag from Pitchfork. The review says “Kaputt feels wise … Like a mirror that actually points back at something better … It feels funny, tragic, artful and ultimately true.”

Can Be Found: The Grey Eagle, Wednesday, April 6.

RIYD: The New Pornographers, David Bowie, Al Stewart.

You Should Go If: The only time you feel truly at peace is while watching The Weather Channel; you are known for leaving three-minute messages on your friends’ voice mail; you’ve purchased $2,800 worth of Groupon spa days, hot-air balloon rides and dinners out but you haven’t used a single one; the scariest April Fool’s prank ever pulled on you was … when your older sister told you that overdue library books went on your “permanent record.”

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