Although Becky will continue to write periodic Profilers, her weekly column will now include new features such as Musical Missed Connections, Have You Seen this Band? and the occasional Personality Quiz. Contact her at beckyupham@gmail.com.
Musical Missed Connections:
Noble Creatures
I spotted you at Earth Fare munching on cookies out of the case while grinding coffee you had no intention of buying. You asked me if I wanted to help you vacuum out your car behind CVS and smoke a joint, but I am wary of clean-shaven men. Without answering you, I made a beeline to the meat counter and ordered five pounds of ground chuck. I live alone and my freezer is broken.
You’re constantly in my thoughts. Is your lack of facial hair meant to be ironic? Do you sometimes sleep until 3 p.m.? Do you consider the world from the perspective of a squirrel several times a day? If you answered “yes” to at least two of those questions, meet me at The Gourds.
The Gourds are an alt-country band from Austin playing at the Grey Eagle at 9 p.m. (Patrick Sweany opens) on Friday, July 15. They are known for their high-energy shows, and their bluegrass cover of Snoop Dogg’s “Gin and Juice.”
In Spite of Ourselves
We brushed hands when we both reached into the root beer barrel candy bin at the Mast General store. You had on the exact same outfit as me: khaki shorts, a fanny pack and Chacos. Your curly brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail, just like mine. (Yours smelled terrific … tell me your secret later?) When I noticed your “I Hope to Grow Up to Be the Person my Dog Thinks I Am” T-shirt, I was blown away. You insisted on letting me go first, handed me a dime, and said, “First one’s on me.” I wandered away in a daze, too spellbound to even thank you.
I think sugar is poison, and I have a feeling you do, too. The only explanation for dipping into that toxic tub of caramel-colored corn syrup is fate, pure and simple. If you believe in what you cannot see, meet me at Iris Dement.
Country-folk singer Iris Dement is playing at the Grey Eagle at 7 p.m on Sunday, July 17. She’s recorded duets with Emmylou Harris, Steve Earle and John Prine; her version of “Everlasting Arms,” was featured in the 2010 film, True Grit.
My Aim is True
You asked when 30 Rock Season 5 DVD would be released on Yahoo! Answers, and then chose my reply as the best. We started messaging and my computer froze before I could find out your real name or email. Technology foils love yet again!
We shared a love of vintage postcards, Chinese food and Union Jack T-shirts, and although we’re both soft-spoken, have experienced the occasional anger blackout. My last eight girlfriends have cheated on me (four of them with my best friend, which is a whole other story but suffice it to say that I believe in second chances and am a very loyal friend). I was ready to give up on women completely and commit to a monastic lifestyle (wireless and Droids excepted, of course) before we chatted. Put on your red shoes and skinny jeans and meet me at Elvis Costello.
Elvis Costello and the Imposters are playing at Thomas Wolfe Auditorium at 7:30 p.m. on Tuesday, July 19. Members of the audience will be invited on stage to spin the “Spectacular Spinning Songbook,” and the band plays whatever song (top selections from his 30+ albums) comes up.
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