There’s nothing funny about being homeless. Unless, that is, you happen to be out plying your vagabonish trade one night and run across a group of improv comedians. Then it’s funny. OxyMoron Graham Livengood recently posted a blog about a post-gig encounter with panhandlers, the first of a two-part series. Here’s a sample:
“Sarah begins patting her pockets and saying she doesn’t have any money. This is when Gary breaks out the big guns. He’s not one to take random handouts (when they’re not to be had), Gary works for his money. Without breaking, Gary launches into his sales speech.”
“‘Maybe y’all wanna buy some bacon?’ He says. I’m stunned. Sarah is speechless. I would have sooner thought he would offer sex or drugs or maybe a little hobo shuffle. Bacon. Then, to add to the wonderment of this offer, Gary produces the bacon – from inside his coat. As everyone knows, the best place to store bacon is in a very hot, confined space…such as inside the coat of a street person. ‘I don’t need all this bacon, maybe y’all wanna buy some so I could get me a hotel room tonight.’”
For more on this encounter, visit the OxyMorons’ blog here.
it’s Funny how we all look @ life sometimes. Trust me sometimes the same homeless person will come up to me and ask for money all the time. First you think they are someone (with a house,job,and family)…normal.(what does normal mean in asheville.lol!) anywho, you have a short conversation that always leads to the motel room. Umm first off, ‘what are you doin in the day time? Second, Why do they always come up to me @ night? hmmm
These are just thoughts not my point. My point is ‘Put yourselves in their shoes. I always wonder their life stories. How and Why? The ‘CHANGE’ i have for them is alittle story of how i was homeless acouple of years ago in ATL. Talk about scary!!! Without, and thank ALL GODs. I stayed up for 5 days straight. I was so scared ,alone, and homeless. It was one of the best lessons i will ever learn! It taught me how to come up from a struggle. So i tell them this short story and i leave them with…”you can do it too.”
PEACE.
I’ve found myself in some pretty rotten spots over the years as well, but I’ve never tried to sell a slab of “hot” pork to a complete stranger in a parking lot. And while I’m not saying the guy doesn’t deserve some sympathy, you’ve got to admit that it’s a pretty funny image.
MichaMack, first things first, I look at your grammar and I am not surprised that you were homeless. I kid.
But, like it or not, Asheville has a significant homeless problem, and “putting ourselves in their shoes” is one of the approaches to the problem that got us here. My wife works downtown and I’ve been privy to way to many horror stories about these people.
I’m sure there are some genuine sad stories out there about why people became homeless, but for the most part, you can probably blame some form of substance abuse.
Once again, I hate speaking in generalizations, but for the most part, and in my experience (working in downtown for the last 7+ years) I find this to be true.
My solution? It’s pretty simple. If you can provide proof of employment and pass a criminal background check, you should be allowed to taser one homeless person a year. Think about it. If I knew I was going to get tasered, I’d go get a job with a startling quickness.
I’m not advocating violence, I’m just throwing out ideas.
Wow…it is a strange world we live in.
I know what you mean. We live in a world where being homeless is almost considered cool, while there are social engineers such as myself out there trying to do something to help stop the problem are considered heretics.
And, let’s be fair here, tazering is pretty much the solution to most of the world’s ills. I’ve got a feeling Mumpower may suggest that we start tazering people who listen to “the music ‘Rat Dog’,” just to keep the Civic Center from smelling weird.
You say that like it’s a bad thing. If I were at that show, I’d taser every person I could. Unless they had children, then I’d taser the child.