Edgy Mama: Open letter to 2009

Dear 2009,

Welcome! Once again, I’m thrilled to be greeting another year because I am, against death-defying odds, still here. And yet, dear 2009, could you try to be a better year than 2008? Please?

I wrote a sweet missive to 2008 around this time last year, but neither sweetness nor good intentions made much difference to 2008. She turned out to be a difficult, depressing diva, and I’m looking forward to kicking her heiney to the curb on Dec. 31.

Despite the economic recession, high unemployment and inflation marring 2008, she did give us the November hope-fest that was election day. I suppose I can give her grudging thanks for that.

We, the Edgy family, did have some personal highlights in 2008. These included trips to the Georgia coast and the Sierra Nevada mountains of California (thanks to the generosity of grandparents who hadn’t yet lost large portions of their retirement funds). We also added 500 square feet to our home, in the probably misguided belief that extra space might ease the transition of our offspring from kids to teens. While the value of our addition already has plummeted, at least we can physically enjoy the house, regardless of its value, unlike the monies that swirled down the sewer that we used to call the stock market.

Another 2008 highlight is that we personally haven’t experienced the job losses that so many are enduring. My heart goes out to a number of friends, acquaintances and colleagues who are dealing with the stress and hardship of job loss. Our irony is that the culture of fear has increased Enviro-spouse’s business-the recognition that climate change is both real and imminent means that climate analysts are in demand. So while I’ve considered advertising for a surrogate dad to help out during his extensive travels, mostly I’m just happy he’s employed.

And y’all still seem to be reading this column, thus keeping me, I hope, in a part-time job. So thank you, loyal readers. Please continue with your awesome support, feedback and constructive criticism.

The primary lowlight for the Edgy family in 2008, in addition to throwing what was basically Monopoly money down the sewer, included the discovery of another tumor that had to be cut out of my Dad. He called it the prairie dog, because it looked like a mid-sized rodent was burrowing under the skin of his abdomen. Now the prairie dog is gone, and thanks to the miracle of radiation, will not likely return. Dad’s in great shape – still working full-time, exercising hard, and playing golf. He doesn’t let prairie dogs or the fact that the world is having a horrible year get him down.

So let’s move on to resolutions for you, 2009. I have mixed feelings about resolutions. I like the idea of new starts and good intentions, although I realize that true change is difficult for most humans. Let’s revisit my 2008 resolutions and see how I did before embarking on new ones.

2008 Resolution 1: Sit up straight. I failed miserably at this one. In fact, I’ve lost mobility in my hips from crouching over my computer for hours on end. This was a dumb resolution anyway.

Resolution 2: Say one nice thing to my kids each day. Semi-success. I think I’ve been nicer. But let’s ask the kids. “You’re always nice, Mommy,” says the boy, batting his eyelashes. “You’re kind of feisty, but you say nice stuff. Some times,” says the girl.

Resolution 3: Stop using emoticons. Success! I have, for the most part, completely avoided the use of emoticons to express my feelings. Sadly, this is my one wholly successful resolution.

Resolution 4: Bathe the dog regularly. Complete failure. Again, I only bathe him when forced to because he’s covered with turkey poop (he rolls in the disgusting substance with the same joy that I would show if allowed to roll in a vat of melted chocolate).

Resolution 5: Stop obsessing about death and dying. Complete failure. I still spend way too much time fantasizing about horrible ways to die. I should channel this psychosis into writing a murder mystery.

Resolution 6: Embrace peri-menopause. Failure. I’m losing estrogen faster than a runaway truck coming down the Cumberland Gap. Basically, peri-menopause sucks.

So, 2009, given the high failure rate of 2008’s resolutions, let’s keep it simple this year.

In 2009, I resolve to continue to try to be patient with my offspring. In 2009, I will walk the dog more, drink less alcohol, consider writing a murder myster, and bitch as much as possible about the suckitude of peri-menopause.

Middle-age has it’s feisty benefits. Leave your 2008 highlights, lowlights, resolution failures and 2009 resolutions in the comments at mountainx.com.

Happy New Year, baby 2009!

Edgy Mama

Anne Fitten “Edgy Mama” Glenn writes about a number of subjects, including parenting, at www.edgymama.com.


Before you comment

The comments section is here to provide a platform for civil dialogue on the issues we face together as a local community. Xpress is committed to offering this platform for all voices, but when the tone of the discussion gets nasty or strays off topic, we believe many people choose not to participate. Xpress editors are determined to moderate comments to ensure a constructive interchange is maintained. All comments judged not to be in keeping with the spirit of civil discourse will be removed and repeat violators will be banned. See here for our terms of service. Thank you for being part of this effort to promote respectful discussion.

4 thoughts on “Edgy Mama: Open letter to 2009

  1. Chall Gray

    I always thought it was better to resolve to drink more alcohol–isn’t that easier?

  2. anniefromasheville

    Good luck on these. I agree you have to pick resolutions that you are already doing. Better success rate that way.

  3. restless

    Happy New Year EM! I am looking forward to another year of your insightful, fun columns. My resolution is to break of my long love affair with potato chips.

Leave a Reply

To leave a reply you may Login with your Mountain Xpress account, connect socially or enter your name and e-mail. Your e-mail address will not be published. All fields are required.