Holiday kitsch-tacular

• The Best Christmas Pageant Ever runs at Asheville Community Theatre, now through Dec. 8. “In this hilarious Christmas tale, a couple struggling to put on a church Christmas pageant is faced with casting the Herdman kids, six delinquent siblings who smoke, kick, punch, and steal (they’ve started coming to church for the free gourmet snacks they’ve heard, wrongly, are offered),” says press for the play. “The other children at the church are afraid to audition for fear of getting beat up, so the Herdmans get all the biggest parts — despite having never heard the Nativity story.” Fridays and Saturdays at 7:30 p.m., Sundays at 2:30 p.m. No performance on Friday, Nov. 29. $12-$22.

• Local troupe Les Femmes Mystique presents Naughty is Nice Holiday Soiree. The show features classics like “Santa Baby” and “Sleigh Ride” and performances by The Infinite Hoops and vocalist Sara Fields along with “Circus antics and other surprises will also help to ring in the most wonderful time of the year.” At The LAB on Friday, Dec. 6, at 8 and 10:30 p.m. $12/$15/$20 VIP. 5-percent of the proceeds benefit Room at the Inn homeless shelter.

• “Photo Booth! Inflatables! Cheap Drinks! Special Guest: SANTA CLAUSE!” This is the laundry list of awesome awaiting attendees to the fifth annual Ugly Christmas Sweater Dance Party. DJs Dr. Awesome and Kipper perform. Start hitting up the thrift stores and your Aunt Martha’s closet for sweaters. At Broadway’s on Saturday, Dec. 7. 9 p.m.

• “Tis the season for Shenanigans” says the Facebook invite for the A Shenanigan Christmas: A dance party and fundraiser for Eliada Homes Foster Care. Help out the foster care program and a needy family by bringing unwrapped gifts to donate. The event includes music by Ho Tron Beatz, Disc-Oh, E-Monei, Johan Ess, Sibling Rivalry, Betty Toker, New Color, McDubbin, DamGood and Selector Cleofus; holiday visuals by Jhan Aeon; live painting by Dave McDermott; rope suspension by Rigger G and custom rope fashion by Dr. Rogers. There’s also a raffle with three $100 tattoo gift certificates courtesy of Unification Tattoo, and a $40 piercing gift certificate from Invida tattoo and piercing. At The Millroom on Sunday, Dec. 8, 9 p.m.-2 a.m. $5 suggested donation.

• Asheville Affiliates hosts Naughty or Nice Holiday Party at The Market Place Restaurant. “This holiday social event features an evening of holiday-themed cocktail specials, music, appetizers, and the chance to network with young professionals in the Asheville area. Dress up as ‘naughty’ in your best vixen-like, sexy holiday attire; or as ‘nice’ in something sweet and angelic — or even just come in casual holiday attire (anything goes for the nice category).” There will be wards for best outfits, games of Cards Against Humanity and Apples to Apples, and Molly Parti DJs. 6-9 p.m.  $10 cover includes appetizers. Proceeds benefit Asheville Affiliates’ support of 2014 charity parties.

• And, doing away with all naughty vs. nice lines of questioning, Asheville’s Bombs Away Cabaret cuts to the chase with XXXmas: The Naughty List. Not many clues as to the content of the show, but the Facebook invite promises “glamor, tantalizing tease and non-stop laughs in another wild, witty show that again brings satirical humor to the forefront of Asheville’s burlesque scene.” The performers will be joined by poet Barbie Dockstader Angell, Hellblinki frontman Andrew Benjamin, dancer Elizabeth Evans and juggling troupe 40 Fingers and a Missing Tooth. Audience members are encouraged to bring canned goods to benefit Loving Food Resources. Held at Toy Boat Community Art Space on Friday and Saturday, Dec. 20 and 21, at 8 p.m. nightly. $12 cash at the door or in advance at


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About Alli Marshall
Alli Marshall has lived in Asheville for more than 20 years and loves live music, visual art, fiction and friendly dogs. She is the winner of the 2016 Thomas Wolfe Fiction Prize and the author of the novel "How to Talk to Rockstars," published by Logosophia Books. Follow me @alli_marshall

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