Author:   Justin Souther

The Story: Now all grown up, the friends that made up the American Pie films return to their hometown for their high-school reunion. The Lowdown: Generally unfunny sequel that catches up with a bunch of characters no one really cares about, but somehow retains the ability to not be wholly terrible.

The Story: Forced out of his mother’s basement, stoner Jeff tries to find his destiny. The Lowdown: An aesthetically grating film kept afloat by a couple of likable characters, but which ultimately feels hollow and pointless.

The Story: With the powers of the gods waning, it’s up to demigod Perseus to travel into the Underworld to save his father Zeus, and to stop the ancient Titans from destroying the world. The Lowdown: An entertaining-enough adventure yarn -- with a cast that’s far too good for this kind of rubbish -- that…

The Story: An inside look behind-the-scenes at Paris’ Le Crazy Horse. The Lowdown: A detached, vague, overlong and uneven film that’s ultimately a love-it-or-hate-it affair.

The Story: A fast-talking literary agent becomes magically linked to a tree that loses a leaf for every word he speaks -- and when the leaves run out, he dies. The Lowdown: Occasionally awful, sometimes far too ambitious for its own good, but mostly just forgettable.

The Story: A teen and his friends throw an outrageous party that soon gets out of hand. The Lowdown: A contemptible mish-mash of ugly filmmaking and obnoxious characters that’s more boring than shocking.

The Story: Two New Yorkers decide to join a Georgia commune in order to get away from the stresses of modern life. The Lowdown: An often tedious -- and occasionally obnoxious -- parody of hippies that doesn’t have the teeth or the wherewithal to have an actual point.

The Story: A team of Navy SEALs must stop an imminent terrorist attack. The Lowdown: Shameless, shoddy and stiffly acted propaganda.

The Story: Two best friends -- and CIA agents -- find out they’re dating the same woman, and decide to compete over her. The Lowdown: Yet another flat, formulaic rom-com, injected with an overdose of machismo.

The Story: A family of tiny people -- called Borrowers -- are discovered by a young, ailing boy. The Lowdown: Sweet-natured family fare from Studio Ghibli that lacks the impact of their previous films.

The Story: The guard at a CIA safe house is forced to go on the run with Amercia’s greatest traitor. The Lowdown: A dull and humorless action film that’s made even worse by uninspired filmmaking and a wasted cast.

The Story: A family of whales gets trapped under the ice near a small Alaskan town, prompting a news reporter and a Greenpeace volunteer to start an international campaign to free them. The Lowdown: Well-intentioned family-friendly drama that’s competent and entertaining, but little else.

The Story: A close look at a Manhattan businessman's struggle with his sex addicition. The Lowdown: The most sexually frank -- and sexually audacious -- film to come around in some time, and an admirable piece of filmmaking that rises and falls on how in tune you are with its arthouse sensibilities.

The Story: An escaped convict appears to be attempting suicide, but it’s all part of an elaborate plot to prove his innocence. The Lowdown: A hodge-podge of ideas from other movies, wrapped inside in a far-fetched plot.

The Story: A privately contracted covert operative goes on the run -- and out for revenge -- after being double-crossed. The Lowdown: While never attempting to reinvent the revenge flick, this is a beautifully crafted film and exactly what you want from an action movie.

The Story: The trials and tribulations of the African-American Tuskegee Airmen during World War II. The Lowdown: Certainly well-intentioned, but too cliched and corny to be taken seriously.

The Thursday Horror Picture Show will screen Scanners on Thursday, Jan. 26, at 8 p.m. in the Cinema Lounge of The Carolina Asheville, and will be hosted by Xpress movie critics Ken Hanke and Justin Souther.

The Story: In order to keep his family safe, a former smuggler must come out of retirement for one last run. The Lowdown: A decent cast isn’t enough to save the film from its own incredibly convoluted plot and shoddy photography.

The Story: An American heads to Italy to find the truth about her mentally ill mother, who may be possessed by demons. The Lowdown: The latest in the shaky-cam school of fake documentary horror is passable entertainment, but distracting in its attempts at realism, wholly derivative structure and an unbelievably frustrating ending.

The Story: A group of Americans vacationing in Russia get caught up in an invasion by invisible aliens. The Lowdown: Basic cable-TV-level sci-fi, and completely devoid of originality or style.

The Story: Secret Agent Ethan Hunt returns to save the world through high-flying espionage. The Lowdown: Working as pure matinee fodder, this is the most purely fun entry in the M:I franchise — just don’t go looking for anything deep.