• New, legal, moonshine
lacks the charm, bouquet
of rat excrement, radiator
leavin’s, say aficionados
• Henderson apple harvest
hampered by shortage of
workers willing to do
horrible, horrible job
for extremely low pay
• New rules implemented for
NC retaining walls,
including one that they
not be allowed to fall down
as often, suddenly
• Gloria Steinem booked to
speak at Asheville luncheon
Will declare time has
mellowed her from
‘fire-breathing dragon lady’ to
‘man-hating ball-buster’
• Crack in Washington
Monument reveals
structural damage,
Masonic orgy
• Steve Jobs
appears to believers
at tech conference
• Toxicologist’s report:
Amy Winehouse’s blood
made me high as hell