Minions

Minions is almost exactly what you probably expect it to be. It’s noisy, random, very untidy, slightly crude — and, much like last year’s Penguins of Madagascar, ultimately a little on the tiring side. Its secret weapon likely lies in its boomer-bait soundtrack playlist (which also kind of qualifies — for whatever reason — as millennial-bait). Since the film mostly takes place in 1968, we get wall-to-wall Turtles, Rolling Stones, Spencer Davis Group, Jimi Hendrix, Kinks, Doors, Box Tops, The Who, Dubliners, Donovan — even the Beatles (no, not a cover). There are also Minion-esque covers of “Hair” and “Revolution,” as well as assorted references to several other bits and pieces. If nothing else, I’ll say the movie sounds pretty swell most of the time. It’s also refreshing in that it never assaults your tear ducts (even Penguins of Madagascar fell into that trap). In that regard — if in no other (mark that well) — it’s the computer-animation equivalent of the Marx Brothers before MGM got a hold of them. Unfortunately, sounding great and having attitude doesn’t guarantee a great movie.

The biggest problem has nothing to do with the limitations of the Minions themselves, though they do have certain inherent drawbacks as main characters. Imagine Frankenstein (the original 1931 version) where hunchback-henchman Fritz (Dwight Frye) is the focus and Frankenstein (Colin Clive) is a supporting character. Still, these little fellows — who resemble nothing so much as animated Twinkies with eyes of an indeterminate number and, occasionally, comb-overs — work pretty well. That is due in no small part to the wry narration by Geoffrey Rush.

The problem lies with the supporting characters. They may be fine in concept, but they’re mostly not that interesting. Worse, they’re not that funny. I don’t think this is the fault of any of the pricey voice actors, but the fault of what they’re given to do. Sandra Bullock is fine as the arch-villain Scarlet Overkill, but there’s not much to her. She’s the head baddie and she wants to be the Queen of England and … well, there’s nothing else. Her husband, Herb (Jon Hamm), invents things and is painfully unfunny. Everyone else is pretty much in the same boat. I’m sure Steven Coogan had a great time channeling Brit character actor Peter Vaughan in his bit as a guard at the Tower of London. I’m equally sure that aspect of the gag was lost on most of the audience.

The plot is serviceable enough as it details the Minions search — from the dawn of time — for a villain worthy of their slavish henchmen qualities. Unfortunately, their henchman enthusiasm tends to be undermined by their complete ineptitude — as we see them inadvertently destroy master after master over the course of time. This may be the film’s actual highpoint — except, of course, most of it was in the trailer. Their adventures with dinosaurs, ancient Egyptians, Dracula and Napoleon are clever in ways the film isn’t once it gets to the main Scarlet Overkill plot. There are nice moments, sure — a not entirely incorrect image of pre-Disney Orlando as a cow town is pretty choice for anyone who remembers Orlando in 1968. And all in all, Minions remains cute and likable. What it’s not is remarkable in any way. This will not, by the way, keep it from bludgeoning dinosaurs, animated emotions and, yes, Der Arnold into the ground. Being dethroned by animated twinkies would seem the height of personal embarrassment. Rated PG for action and rude humor.