Before plunging headlong into 2007, Xpress decided to cast a last look over our shoulder at the year that was, reviewing choice moments from our 52 weekly issues. Like its predecessors, of course, 2006 was the best of times, it was the worst of times, time after time.
But it was the finer points, the twists and turns, that commanded our attention: In Asheville, a new City Council stacked with progressives; throughout Western North Carolina, divisive debates over developments big and small; and in every town and county, heated political contests that culminated in a sea-changing election.
Of course, it wasn’t all economic and policy disputes. On the lighter side, 2006 saw WNC rocking and rolling and laughing and crying, buoyed by entertainments alternately weighty and whimsical.
All in all, it was a year in the life that deserves a closer look and, perhaps, a fond farewell. Enjoy!
“It may be Bob Dylan, but it’s just like any band.”
– Julian Dreyer, the Orange Peel’s house-monitor engineer, on getting the sound right for the big names, quoted in “Curtain Call,” Jan. 4
photo by Jodi Ford
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“After years of fighting the same battles time and again, progressive-minded people in Asheville finally have a chance to shift gears and focus on the proactive and creative work of building a just and sustainable community.”
– Beth Trigg in a commentary on Asheville’s new City Council, Jan. 18
“If you really love someone, something like their gender or their body parts … can be just another facet of who they are.”
– Chrysse Everhart, wife of transgender male Marc Eden, quoted in “Across the Great Divide,” Jan. 18
“The job of a restaurant reviewer has its merits, to be sure. But anonymity — something that the job requires at times — can be a difficult thing to preserve in a city the size of Asheville.”
– Mackensy Lunsford in “The Straight Dish,” Jan. 18
photo by Mariah Grant
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“If we stay in the closet, we are letting bigots get away with their rhetoric and their discriminatory practices.”
– Virginia Balfour, who, along with her partner Laurel Scherer, had her photography business ousted from Wolf Laurel Ski Resort, quoted in “Broken Vows,” Jan. 18
“It makes me more suspicious now than ever about how much of this goes on by phone and Internet. That’s the reason we have no discussion in meetings. They’ve already made the decisions in the backroom.”
– Leicester resident Jerry Rice on discovering Buncombe County commissioners and officials conducting a private meeting to discuss voting machines, quoted in “Backroom Discussions,” Jan. 25
“The creative and innovative people driving the tech economy seek places high in cultural and racial/ethnic diversity — and so do gays and lesbians.”
– Urban Institute researcher Gary Gates, quoted in “The Economics of Tolerance: Gays and Lesbians in the New Economy,” Feb. 1
“You overspent, and now you’re asking us to cover for it. That doesn’t sit well with me; I wish we could slap you on the wrist a little bit.”
– Asheville City Council member Bryan Freeborn, speaking to Parks and Recreation Director Irby Brinson about Bele Chere 2005 costs, quoted in “Just the Facts,” Feb. 1
“The thing I struggle with the most is when both partners want my time. … Sometimes we do things together, but that can be awkward. It’s a balancing act.”
– The polyamorous “Mr. X,” quoted in “A Big, Big Love: An Outsider’s Guide to Polyamory,” Feb. 8
Only Aimee Mann could believably sing the word “chanticleer.”
– A&E Editor Melanie McGee-Bianchi on the famed singer in “Sucker Punch,” Feb. 8
“The turntable was not created originally for us to do things like beat-juggle. It was a tool for us to simply play music on. It was not designed to be manipulated. However, when you don’t limit yourself to how someone else defines an object, then you can turn almost anything into an instrument — or a voice.”
– DJ Rob Swift on the art of spinning records in “The Revolution Will Be Scratched,” Feb. 15
“MAIN put its energy into wireless not only for our survival, but for the survival of a free and open Internet.”
– Mountain Area Information Network Executive Director Wally Bowen, quoted in “MAIN Turns 10,” Feb. 15
“Residential values have increased by 25 to 40 percent, depending on the market, while the average bracket [for all properties] countywide is a little over 45 percent.”
– Buncombe County Tax Administrator Gary Roberts, commenting on the first property revaluations since 2002, in “Reval Blues,” Feb. 15
“The only way Asheville will ever be the way it used to be in anyone’s living memory is for the last 20,000 of you who have moved here to tear down your houses and businesses, replant the trees that were cut so that you could live and work here, then donate the land to the Nature Conservancy, take your kids and move away.”
– Jerry Sternberg, Commentary, “The ‘Good Old Days’ That Never Were,” Feb. 22
“I tried hard not to romanticize the region. … I really wanted to show that this wellspring of innovation often came from the quagmire of injustice.”
– Jeff Biggers, author of The United States of Appalachia: How Southern Mountaineers Brought Independence, Culture, and Enlightenment to America, quoted in “From These Mountains,” Feb. 22
“I was appalled to read about newly appointed Council member Bryan Freeborn’s arrogant, tart remark to [Parks and Recreation Director] Irby Brinson at a recent City Council meeting. … It is my hope that as Council member Freeborn matures, he learns that whether one agrees or disagrees with staff, one can make one’s point by being professional and courteous rather than caustic and biting.”
– Former Asheville Mayor Leni Sitnick, Letters, March 1
“I will make art that you won’t like.”
– Visual artist Joyce J. Scott on her racially provocative work in “Cuddly Like That,” March 1
“I don’t want to ever become bored. I just want to get somebody to give us ice cream every day. And a greenhouse. And a pony. Those are pretty much our demands.”
– Nathanael Markham on his band, Body of John the Baptist, in “Ice Cream and a Pony,” March 1
“The older I get, the more I see how being a security guard at the Whitney Museum in the early ’90s shaped what I eventually came to write.”
– Silver Jews front man David Berman in “Baby Steps,” March 8
“As a well-connected member of the Charlotte business community, I heard people say time and again, ‘Asheville (and the mountain region) would be a great place to live — but what would I do with my career?'”
– Jim Roberts, founding executive director of the Blue Ridge Entrepreneurial Council, Commentary, March 8
“Crash‘s win [for Best Picture] is one of the most disappointing in Oscar history. Spin it any way you want, but the bottom line remains: This was the wimpy choice that preserves the status quo and doesn’t frighten the horses.”
– Xpress movie reviewer Ken Hanke in “The Reactionary Academy,” March 8
photo by Alli Marshall
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“Bold colors, geometric shapes and bright-hued hair all add to Sherri’s unique style.”
– Xpress reporter Alli Marshall on Sherri Bell’s street fashion, “Top Drawer,” March 8
“If I owned a restaurant in Asheville, I would put a notice on the front door stating the following: If you work for the Mountain Xpress, please dine somewhere else. You’re not welcome here. … It seems to me that it would serve the public and restaurants better if [Xpress food writer Mackensy Lunsford] quit being a critic and became more of a PR writer.”
– Chuck Landers, Letters, March 15
“Basically, Asheville needs to make a decision: Do we want to turn into Atlanta or not?”
– Environmental-chemistry professor John Brock on Asheville’s future traffic growth, quoted in “How Green is Asheville?” March 15
photo by Jon Elliston
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Steve Shanafelt: “What do you think of the … Ghostriders game so far?”
Brian Sarzynski: “It’s like a mix between professional wrestling and a snuff film.”
– Xpress writers taking in the first home game of the Carolina Ghostriders, Asheville’s short-lived indoor-football franchise, “Ghost of a Chance,” March 15
“Students always like adrenaline.”
– Brevard College’s Kyle Lo Porto on the popularity of the Banff Mountain Film Festival World Tour, “Cannibalism Not Required,” March 15
“Perhaps it was the barstool I grabbed out of one chap’s hand before he smashed it over two tangled fighters, or maybe it was the blood that decorated the floor where coffee spills usually reside. Whatever the case, my metal night at Gourmet Perks was one for the ages.”
– Hunter Pope in “Earful,” March 22
“My future would stretch out in a growing scene of the bacchanal: peasant women with raven hair and feet stained purple, warm Mediterranean light, rustic fare, wine by the jug. There was a hitch to all this, of course … I don’t know any raven-haired women.”
– Xpress reporter Kent Priestley in “Grape Expectations,” March 22
“Feminism, of course, has by now had so many waves it’s a shame it can’t be surfed. But no matter how it’s numbered, today’s UNCA students seem to favor a definition that prioritizes comfort over challenge and promises the good life to everyone, regardless of race, class or creed.”
– Hanna Miller, “Comfortably Numb?” March 22
“As a UNCA student and ardent feminist, I can attest that feminism is far from dead among college women. … Sure, the ‘F-word’ is still taboo in some circles. But I claim the title of ‘feminist’ proudly, and I’m not the only one to do so. Please do some more thorough research before making such gross generalizations about my peers.”
– Kim Bartow responding to Hanna Miller’s article “Comfortably Numb,” Letters, March 29
“We are prepared to do whatever it takes to stop [Heath] Shuler — as long as it doesn’t require any money.”
– Jason Woodmansee, publisher of StopShuler.com, a Web site opposing Shuler on the basis of his poor performance as a Washington Redskins quarterback, quoted in “Fear and Loathing in D.C.,” March 29
“If a minority student were to … ask me if they should come to UNCA … I would tell them to pack up and take their money somewhere else.”
– UNCA junior Rachael Williams, quoted in “Somewhere Over the Rainbow: Diversity and Disillusionment at UNCA,” April 5
“Doing graffiti work is so much fun. It seems ridiculous to jail someone for making art on the walls of a boarded-up building when people are sleeping in the rain and cold.”
– Local artist Dustin Spagnola, quoted in “Color Him Impressed,” April 5
“Being a singer can be a little bit boring.”
– Singer Patty Griffin, quoted in “Sad Songs Say So Much,” April 12
photo by Kent Priestley
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“Skaters have got a bad rap. That’s changing, and I want to be part of that process. … Skateboarding is great. I mean, I can come out here at the end of the day all stressed out and tired, roll around for an hour or two and I feel like a million bucks.”
– 65-year-old skate rat Jim Martin, quoted in “Who You Callin’ ‘Old’?” April 12
“To many who lived in Asheville during those days of downtown desolation, the sculpture came to represent the town’s resurrection.”
– Connie Bostic on Dirk Cruser’s sculpture Energy Loop, Commentary, April 19
“Wal-Mart is terminating this project and will no longer be pursuing this site.”
– April 11 memo to the city of Asheville from Wal-Mart (concerning the company’s planned superstore, West Asheville), quoted in “Just the Facts,” April 19
“I never had any real adventures until I became a lawyer.”
– Musician (and lawyer) David Childers in “From the Pulpit, With Balls,” April 19
“It’s a pain in the ass, is what it is. I gotta get up every morning and do this.”
– Country legend Guy Clark on song writing, in “Graphite on Paper,” April 26
“If you’re concerned about developers buying up private land to build gated communities plopped down on top of mountains, just wait and see what will happen if our national forests are sold off. Trust me, real-estate agents are standing by.”
– Danny Bernstein, Commentary, “Not on OUR Land!” April 26
photo by Mariah Grant<
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“When I was in school, I was one of those students, those sleepers in the back of the class. I was bored s**tless. Most of us are visual thinkers. … We need to be stimulated in order to learn.”
– West Asheville multimedia entrepreneur David McConville, quoted in “Astral Projector,” April 26
“Nearly everyone agrees that the Unified Development Ordinance is a frustrating document. It’s bulky, lacks good graphics, and the legal jargon makes it inaccessible to the general public. As a result, both neighborhoods and developers have a hard time predicting whether or in what form a development will be approved. Nonetheless, it’s still the law.”
– Asheville resident Heather Rayburn, Commentary, “Fair Play: Public Should Insist that the City Enforce the UDO,” May 3
“Other slogans considered for Asheville’s next promotional campaign:
⢠Where pipe dreams become real, honest-to-god, far-fetched dreams.
⢠The Crown Jewel of the Leicester Region!
⢠Nothing whatsoever like Las Vegas, but don’t tell the locals!
⢠Maybe you should open a little shop here or something!
⢠Kick cocaine somewhere else.
⢠If you knock up one of our hippies, you have to take her.
⢠Where the Smiths go when they want to do a full swap with the Joneses!”
– Satire of the new marketing slogan, “Asheville: Any Way You Like It,” Asheville Disclaimer May 3
“Once a year’s about enough for ramps for me. Trust me — once you spend about a month out there gathering and cleaning the things … you’re about psycho.”
– Waynesville resident Clint Smith on gathering ramps for the Waynesville Ramp Convention, quoted in “Ooo-oo That Smell,” May 3
“They’ve got Barry White’s drummer in the studio. They’ve also got Hammond B3 organ, early Pink Floyd psychedelia, and a slinky Donovan-esque groove — hardly typical fare for Asheville’s demiurgical vintage-eclectica trio Mad Tea Party.”
– Xpress reporter Alli Marshall in “More Powerful Than a Magic Mushroom,” May 3
photo by Jon Elliston
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“I can’t help but say how beautiful you are … as you stand here and say, ‘We, too, are Americans.'”
– Asheville Chapter NAACP President John Hayes, quoted in “Let My People Stay: Immigrants March for Fair Treatment,” May 10
“Daniel was an inspiration to me and everyone he came in contact with. His intellect, demeanor and drive set him apart from any person I have ever met.”
– John Grace, expedition-team member with the late filmmaker Daniel DeLaVergne, quoted in “Remembering Daniel: A Hero’s Legacy,” May 17
“Even if the film never makes any money, our experience with it will be complete. This is about building community and having the artists control the means of production.”
– Craig Hobbs, producer and technical director of local sci-fi film Moon Europa, quoted in “Cheap Space,” May 17
“The bicyclists will get my respect when they stop bicycling on roads in inconvenient areas. … You’ll know it’s me honking at you when you see the bumper sticker on the back of my car that says: ‘Don’t Share the Road.'”
– Jackie Snyder, Letters, May 17
“My queerness absolutely colors how I see the world. My perspectives and expectations, and my actual life options, have been determined by my queerness.”
– Michelle Tea in “Every Rose Has Its Thorn,” May 17
“I think you’re putting way more importance into [clothing] than we ever did.”
– Seemingly irritated Strokes guitarist Nick Valensi, quoted in “In the Closet with The Strokes,” May 24
“At times, the arrogance and rage of automobile drivers in this town is astounding. … It is quite common to have bottles thrown at you while riding a bike, not to mention verbal abuse and harassment.”
– Blair Beck, Letters, May 31
“I’ve never had anyone tell me that they moved [to Asheville] because of a survey. But gosh it feels good, and by gosh we take advantage of it by including it in our marketing pieces.”
– Ray Denny, vice president of economic development for the Asheville Area Chamber of Commerce, commenting on the city’s recognition in national magazines, “Don’t Live in Asheville? Tough Luck, Suckers,” May 31
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“Damn those Crank County Daredevils! My eardrums are paste, there’s a ringing in my head that won’t abate, and I have this intense desire to bathe in liquor.”
– Hunter Pope, “Earful,” May 31
“These are hard times for unexplained phenomena. Daily, one by one, the old myths are being teased apart by the icy hand of science. Crop circles: yawn; the Loch Ness Monster: likely a pile of fog-wreathed hooey; spontaneous human combustion: yesterday’s news. Even if you have proof that Great Aunt Lila was consumed by mysterious flames — say, the telltale spot of grease where her swollen ankles used to be — the “experts” would no doubt have some findings involving a spark, a surfeit of hairspray or an acetate brassiere.”
– Xpress reporter Kent Priestley, gearing up for the Brown Mountain Lights Festival in “Tell Me, Have You Seen Them?” June 7
“I cannot overlook the fact that tourism is a one billion dollar industry … for Buncombe County, and downtown is a drawing card for visitors … the downtown property owners have raised legitimate concerns about the homeless population in downtown Asheville.”
– Asheville Mayor Terry Bellamy, May 26 e-mail explaining why she opposed free food servings in both Pritchard Park and Aston Park, quoted in “The Cost of a Free Meal in Asheville,” June 7
“Cut the 11 positions that many Sheriff employees say just sit around in the Sheriff’s Department and save $750,000.”
– County Manager Wanda Greene, e-mail to Buncombe County commissioners identifying potential budget cuts, quoted in “Time and Courage,” June 14
“After a while, I found that the jam-band guys sometimes played Dead music a little too similarly, and too reverently. I wanted it to be dangerous again.”
– The Dead’s Phil Lesh on the addition of singer Joan Osborne to the band, in “Why Phil Needs Joan,” June 21
“The gap between what people can afford and what it costs to get into housing is getting wider and wider.”
– Kelly Nossiter, Neighborhood Housing Services, quoted in “Affordable by Whom?” June 28
“Guys, there’s a big fight ahead. The big guys want to own all that they can own — it’s as simple as that.”
– Jim Goodman of Capital Broadcasting, addressing an FCC hearing in Asheville, quoted in “Mass Communications,” July 5
“Wookiee: The far superior and classier Chewbacca has a bastard human twin: Human Wookiees are dreadlocked and nasty, constantly cavorting with other Wookiees and hoodlums. They exhibit incoherent speech patterns fueled by both pharmies and Mad Dog 20/20.”
– Stuart Gaines, breaking down the jam-fan jargon in “The Parking-Lot Dictionary,” July 5
“Change — even dramatic change — doesn’t necessarily signify wrongdoing. But a yearlong Xpress investigation uncovered multiple instances in which the city [of Asheville] has not enforced the [Unified Development Ordinance], has bent the rules or interpreted them in questionable ways, or has made outright errors — with significant impacts on residents and businesses alike.”
– Xpress reporter Cecil Bothwell, “The [Non]Enforcers,” July 12
“We want each garden to have its own autonomy and make its own decisions, because each garden belongs to its own community.”
– Bountiful Cities Project co-founder Darcel Eddins, quoted in “Beet the System: Asheville’s Urban Gardens Cultivate Community,” July 19
“Which of the following does not complete this analogy: ‘__________ are to fauxhemians as __________ are to trustafarians.’ a) Vintage T-shirts, new dreadlocks; b) Klimt prints, Bob Marley posters; c) Novelty incense, patchouli oil; d) Loft apartments, crash pads; e) None of the above.”
– Steve Shanafelt’s “Asheville IQ Test,” July 19
“We like to be tight, but we also try to stay loose, if that makes any kind of sense.”
– Local musician Dave Desmelik in “The Tao of Dave Desmelik,” July 26
photo by Jonathan Welch
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“I understand that there have been some recent complaints about the drumming [in Pritchard Park]. While the objections are certainly valid to those who made them, it’s not fair to treat downtown Asheville as if it were some quiet suburb or cloistered, gated community. … Not having a drumming circle would disappoint a large number of people — the very same people who have contributed to the life and soul of Asheville.”
– Marshall Gordon, Letters, July 26
photo by Jodi Ford
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“Why is this man smiling? Because the restaurant he manages, Hannah Flanagan’s Irish Pub of Asheville, will soon be a mini-museum to one of minor-league baseball’s most notorious bad boys. Mark Sternal, the pub’s general manager, bid with others for the second base that Asheville Tourists manager Joe Mikulik uprooted during his now-famous June 25 tirade at a game in Lexington, Ky.”
– Staff writer Kent Priestley, “Getting to Second Base,” July 26
“In a perfect world, the workers we need would be those who were born within our borders or who come here legally. But this is not a perfect world.”
– Edna Campos, Commentary, “Us and Them: Fear-Mongering Won’t Solve Immigration Issues,” July 26
“These approaches serve as distracting decoys from the two core [immigration] issues I am trying to address: people who illegally cross our borders and people who illegally employ them. I’m not a duck; nor, I bet, are most of your readers.”
– Asheville City Council member Carl Mumpower, responding to Edna Campos’ July 26 commentary, Letters, Aug. 2
“As a Christian minister, I believe Jesus is decidedly pro-panhandling. … Laws that restrict people from asking for what they need are dangerous for us as human beings.”
– The Rev. Amy Cantrell, quoted in “Homesick: The Many Faces of Homelessness in Asheville,” Aug. 2
“You can’t burlesque something unless there’s something going on.”
– The Rebelles’ Christine DiBenedetto in “Unholy Trio,” Aug. 2
“Everyone’s like, ‘Get a new color’ — especially my costumist.”
– Terpsicorp’s Heather Maloy on their updating of The Scarlet Letter in “The Shape of Things,” Aug. 9
“They sent this in just to beat our new ridgeline [ordinance]. That really upsets me; that’s plain conniving.”
– Bill Stanley, vice chairman of the Buncombe County Board of Commissioners, on the planned Brittain Knob development near Weaverville, quoted in “Uphill Battles,” Aug. 9
“In reference to Stuart David’s letter warning us that the city of Chicago and Whole Foods Market have decided to ban certain food products (live lobster, live soft-shell crab, foie gras), I will do my part and consume as much as I can of these products at every opportunity, because I despise American company and elected officials acting as my moral watchdogs.”
– Brad Kepley, Letters, Aug. 16
“[My friend told me] that a gang of feral chihuahuas had come into his yard and had killed his baby goats. It was an omen.”
– Feral Chihuahuas’ Tommy Calloway, quoted in “Lost in the Garage,” Aug. 16
“More recently, a folk singer Xpress staffers are calling Extremely Loud Woman has commandeered the iron. She plays the guitar in an earnest and very physical way, but it is her voice — a tuneless bellow, equal parts Melissa Etheridge and Stock Exchange shout — that is most arresting.”
– Xpress reporter Kent Priestley on busking musicians, “Talent Show,” Aug. 23
“It’s appropriate for a community to provide assistance to people who, through no fault of their own, have fallen on hard times. It’s also appropriate for a community to refrain from — and urge others to refrain from — ‘enabling’ behaviors which perpetuate and support a lifestyle dependent on and colored by drug or alcohol abuse.”
– Asheville Downtown Association President Dwight Butner, Commentary, “A Real Helping Hand,” Aug. 23
“I remember when I landed that deal, a friend of mine said, ‘Oh, so this means you’re going to be really famous for a really short time?'”
– Country musician Tim O’Brien on his signing with Sugar Hill Records, “Still Hungry,” Aug. 30
“Few spend the kind of time and attention to try to get [a development ordinance] right. I think you’re ahead of the curve. It is a better ordinance and better implemented than most.”
– David Owens, UNC-Chapel Hill School of Government, in an Aug. 22 presentation to Asheville City Council, quoted in “A Heaping Helping,” Aug. 30
“The grim reality is that unless you have a nice, fat grant or an exceptionally supportive family, you’ll likely need a day job until you can follow your dream all the way to the bank.”
– Xpress writer Steve Shanafelt on making a living as an artist, “Moonlighting for Art,” Sept. 6
“I was thinking about how most restaurants in Asheville and elsewhere used to have separate sections for smoking and nonsmoking. … So why not create a ‘no cell phone’ section? That way those of us who want peace and quiet can enjoy a nice meal without hearing a ‘he said/she said’ one-sided conversation.”
– Robert Collins, Letters, Sept. 13
“If we can’t protect you, then you probably have to get someone else who can.”
– Buncombe County Commissioner David Gantt on the county’s new storm-water rules, quoted in “The M-word,” Sept. 13
“We know that Asheville is going to grow. But we need to learn from the mistakes of other communities that have allowed sprawl to destroy their character and degrade their environment.”
– Asheville City Council members Brownie Newman and Robin Cape, Commentary, “A Sustainable Agenda,” Sept. 20
“We had 350 members. Our classes were full. The bottom line is, we were delivering the goods.”
– Former URTV General Manager Kurt Mann, shortly after being informed that his contract with the station would not be renewed, quoted in “UR Outta Here,” Sept. 20
“We’re looking for a more buttoned-down management style at this point.”
– URTV Board President Mark Wilson on Mann’s departure, quoted in “UR Outta Here,” Sept. 20
“My daughter and I went to the flea market one day and we came up with the game of looking at the world through sock-monkey eyes. And we’re still doing it.”
– Photographer Michael Traister on his work for Sock Monkey Dreams in “The 200th Monkey,” Sept. 20
“Hello and a beautiful good day. I welcome you my new friend in the space. I hope we live a pleasant time in this space and remain up to one see again, on which I am pleased, with musical greet from Germany the sveen [sic] and my musical respect.”
– German lounge artist and MySpace inhabitant L’etagere quoted from comments made on Ladytron’s MySpace page in “Out of the Loop,” Sept. 20
“People don’t freak out over kale. They don’t freak out over cauliflower. They do freak out over garlic. People get a rush out of certain food items, and garlic is one of them.”
– Garlic farmer Tom Sherry of Candler, quoted in “The Garlic Freak,” Sept. 27
“Some people just don’t want to think about it. They just want to have a good time; they’ve been working all week. They don’t want to hear a strange man with a flute talking about biodiesel fuel.”
– Enviro-conscious Peace Jones front man Paul DeCirce, quoted in “The Macho Magic Flute,” Sept. 27
“I figured if I gave it a name, I wouldn’t have to define it.”
– David Grisman on “Dawg music,” in “Tao of the Dawg,” Oct. 4
“With this privatization process the safety net was really done away with.”
– Will Callison of mental-health provider New Vistas-Mountain Laurel on the state’s 2001 “reform” of the mental-health system, quoted in “Holes in the Safety Net,” Oct. 4
“It’s only fair that [Buncombe County’s new storm-water ordinance] be supported by the development community. This will control development from here on out — not existing problems. This is the No. 1 problem that I hear about in the county. Some people say we need to wait, but it’s time to start.”
– Buncombe County Planning Director Jon Creighton, quoted in “Storming the Barricades,” Oct. 4
“I was just starting to discover what I thought of as ‘adult humor’ when George Carlin began to get national TV exposure on the Merv Griffin and Mike Douglas shows in the mid-’60s. Pushing the boundaries of good taste has an innate appeal to eighth-grade boys, and I was no exception.”
– Xpress reporter Cecil Bothwell in “Carlin vs. the World,” Oct. 11
“It’s not that hard for anybody to get off their ass and do something. If you’re willing to devote 1 percent of your life to creating a better political environment (which translates to 100 minutes a week) … your 1 percent may wind up being the tipping point.”
– Democratic activist Gordon Smith, quoted in “What’s Left? Progressive Activists Hoping for Election Gains,” Oct. 11
“I’m in this because I believe, for spiritual reasons, that the most important thing in the world is the free agency of man. People are better at making decisions for themselves than some out-of-touch government bureaucracy is.”
– Conservative journalist Leslee Kulba of The Asheville Tribune, quoted in “Right on Target: Conservative Activists Decry Big Government, High Taxes,” Oct. 11
“Money doesn’t come from a magic bucket. It comes from people’s pockets.”
– Asheville City Council Member Carl Mumpower, quoted in “Contentious Consensus,” Oct. 18
“Any creature who will blackguard his own father, mother, brother, and sisters, through 600 pages of print, should be shot.”
– The late Horace Kephart, in a recently discovered 1930 letter denouncing Thomas Wolfe’s Look Homeward, Angel, quoted in “Keep Writing, I’m Reloading,” Oct. 18
“The problem with those big Irish festivals is they’re more about a cultural day out. It’s about the vendors and the parade and the green beer and stuff.”
– L/Intnasa’s Cillian Vallely, quoted in “No Green Beer Served Here,” Oct. 18
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“I’m … all hacked off about me not being dead like Kurt Cobain or that dead dude from Alice in Chains. It’s a drag and I’ll never get over it. At this point the only thing that could make me feel better is climbing a high tower on a college campus and shooting people with a deer rifle until the cops blow my brains out.”
– The Melvins’ King Buzzo on his not-quite stardom in “Play Nice,” Oct. 25
“There’s two things I can promise people. No. 1, I’m not for sale at any price. I’ve been told by political pundits, ‘Don’t say that,’ because there are some people who would like to buy that office. The other thing is, I’ll do what I think is right.”
– Buncombe County Clerk of Court candidate Don Yelton, quoted in “Donald v. Goliath,” Oct. 25
“My opponent is an interesting fellow. That’s all I’ll say. I can’t remember his name right now, but he’s an interesting fellow.”
– Buncombe County Clerk of Court Bob Christy on his opponent Don Yelton, quoted in “Donald v. Goliath,” Oct. 25
“Admittedly, we tend to cry wolf over any development, though few actually threaten us. … But it’s time to cry wolf for real in Madison County now — over both the scale of many developments and our elected officials’ behavior. Most terrifying of all, we must fight our own government to save our environment and way of life before it’s too late.”
– Milton Ready, Commentary, “Howling at the Moon,” Nov. 1
“I made a mistake as a rookie legislator in putting my name on that legislation. In the future, I will not sponsor any legislation that involves the city and the county unless the city and the county have been able to work together and are on the same page.”
– N.C. Rep. Susan Fisher in response to the question, “Should our local legislative delegation have sponsored Sullivan Acts II and III in 2005?” Nov. 1
“We feel this is hate speech. We feel that what has been done to us is a form of terrorism.”
– UNCA student activist Charla Schlueter, quoted in “Say It, Don’t Spray It,” Nov. 8
“What goes round, comes round. As a veteran, I promise to never visit your town or spend one cent on any product that comes to [sic] from your town. Shame on you and your communist council. When the enemy comes, and he will, I hope they visit your town in the early times of their ‘doings.'”
– One among many angry e-mails Asheville Mayor Terry Bellamy received after City Council raised the rent on the Army Reserve Center, quoted in “Uncivil Discourse?” Nov. 8
“As far as the e-mails are concerned, a lot of those issues are beyond me. I don’t have the ability to allocate funds for our soldiers. If I could, I would.””
– Mayor Bellamy, quoted in “Uncivil Discourse?” Nov. 8
“I think that — pardon the expression — that it’s a foul charge. … It seems like they’re … trying to cage us.”
– Ron Smith, co-owner of Asheville restaurant Picnics, after the city banned the “chicken man,” quoted in “He Knows why the Caged Bird Sings,” Nov. 8
“In the Lingerie Zen sect, precautions were made to avoid the tantric misfire. You go to the store and you shop and you get aroused and then, instead of going for the tantric [sex], you go upstairs and meditate.”
– Zen master, accordion player, author and former lingerie-store owner Michael Attie in “More Fun than a Temple of Monkeys,” Nov. 8
“I looked at the list he gave me and felt a bit like Alice falling down the rabbit hole: KAE, HILI, CWM, ZA, ZYME, DOXY and AECIA, just to name a few.”
– Margaret Williams on competitive Scrabble, “ZYZZYVA!” Nov. 8
“To Mayor Bellamy and Council: Stick to your guns. If I may wax poetic, the $112,000 we charge the U.S. Army for rent [of the Reserve Center] is to the military budget as a gnat is to … oh, let’s say the solar system.”
– Jeff Hersk, Letters, Nov. 15
“We dive into a little bit of politics and some spirituality, and that’s a little different for me, but as far as everything else goes … relationships, love, sex, that’s all pretty much what people would expect from me.”
– Rocker Joan Jett on her current song topics, “Joan Jett’s Heart Bleeds for Her Country,” Nov. 15
“Right now if I wanted to start a band with just me, a kazoo and grunting vocals, I could start a MySpace music page.”
– Tucker Ensley of the Asheville-based rock group Secret Lives of the Freemasons on the virtual music scene of MySpace, in “Plays Well with Others,” Nov. 22
“[High-end development] should be a concern for Asheville, because it will … force a lot of the local folk out, which is what we’re seeing happening in Florida.”
– Market analyst Jack McCabe, quoted in “Steep Slope, Slippery Slope,” Nov. 22
photo by Kent Priestley
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“Is there one small bouillon cube of justice in this whole stinkin’ world? Who is the rotten egg who said this was legal?”
– Neighborhood activist Heather Rayburn at a protest at Staples (with chicken in tow), quoted in “Feathers in a Ruffle,” Nov. 29
“There’s a real concern in our community that the [Buncombe County Planning Board] is skewed towards an anything-goes approach to growth and development. … There’s a need for balance — between people who have expertise and a personal interest in development, and people who have the community’s interest at heart.”
– Buncombe County Commissioner David Gantt, quoted in “The Planning Bunch,” Dec. 6
“In December 1975, it seemed reasonable to believe that Santa was somewhere very cold, putting a finger to his nose and saying, ‘Hmm. Big Wheels for all.’ They were bright. They were plastic. They were shoddily made. And I wanted one so bad that it hurt.”
– Xpress writer Kent Priestley, “The Carol of the Big Wheel,” Dec. 6
“My favorite Hanukkah memory occurred on Christmas, a holiday that’s observed as ritually by Jews as Gentiles. Like our Christian brethren, every Dec. 25, we congregate (usually at the local cineplex for Woody Allen’s latest release) and eat traditional foods (General Tso’s chicken, not too spicy).”
– Hanna Rachel Raskin, “The Jewish Equivalent of Flag Day,” Dec. 13
“What a complicated man. He had every opportunity to turn himself into the Jesse James of the anti-abortion movement, and he just didn’t do it, thank God.”
– Author Maryanne Vollers on Eric Rudolph, quoted in “What Was He Thinking,” Dec. 20
“Let’s end the year with some movement on the Civic Center. Let’s just go for it.”
– Asheville City Council member Bryan Freeborn, quoted in “And for My Next Trick,” Dec. 20
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