My wife has been depressed lately. She’s home all day with the kids and complains that she never gets a break. I’d like to help her out, but I’m at work all day. Do you have any advice on what I can do?
You know there’s this thing called “woman’s work.” Cooking, cleaning, laundry etc. Every time my wife gets all whiney, it’s because she’s not doing enough woman’s work. I get her a list of chores and send her on her way. It makes her happy. I tell her if she cleans real good, maybe I’ll let her give me some loving. Trust me, that’s a winner every time.
When my children, ages 2 and 4, spend the night at their grandparents, they never sleep because they’re away from home. What can I do to make them feel comfortable when visiting the grandparents?
As a child, my Grandma Ma made us a nighttime drink called Fairy Juice when we stayed with her; she said it was made from fairy squeezins but in reality it was just bourbon and barbital. Then she’d make us dance for her until we passed out on the floor. So you may want to suggest that to your parents. When we woke up on the floor the next morning, she gave another drink called Elf Juice. I don’t know what that was, but it knocked us out until our parents came to pick us up.
Local man finds holy image in potato chip
ASHEVILLE, MONDAY— An Asheville man is receiving worldwide attention and financial offers for a most unusual discovery he made recently in a bag of potato chips: the undeniable likeness of Pontius Pilate.
“I wasn’t really looking at them as I was eating them,” said Scott Rollingsworth, 43. “But even out of the corner of my eye, I could see plain as day that this one chip was a dead-ringer for Pontius Pilate.”
Found likenesses of Pontius Pilate within otherwise ordinary objects are not uncommon around the world, but Rollingsworth’s chip stands out for the stunning clarity of Pilate’s image, easily seen by even the most skeptical of cynics.
“I know it’s just a chip, but it has made me a believer,” said Rollingsworth. “You can’t help but be moved by the ‘thumbsdown’ he can clearly be seen giving.”