On Monday night, a trio from Mountain Xpress competed in the 17th annual Literacy Spelling Bee, an event sponsored by the Literacy Council of Buncombe County and Altrusa International Inc. and held at A-B Tech. The stakes were high, as no less than Xpress’ chief competitor in the local news market, the Asheville Citizen-Times, was also competing.
I was on the Xpress team, along with the paper’s senior editor, Peter Gregutt, and our food/arts writer, Hanna Rachel Raskin. Enough with the suspense: We lost.
We went out big, mind you. The word that ended it for us was psittacine, defined by the Random House Dictionary of the English Language as “of or pertaining to parrots.” Well, duh. Any self-respecting owner of a budgiegier, cockatiel or macaw would know that. Unfortunately, none of us are bird people, though my legs have been described by more than one former girlfriend as “chicken-like.” (“Gallinaceous” is another way of saying that.)
I showed a lack of decorum during the event. At one point I smacked Peter on the shoulder for misspelling a word. The stress of competition can bring out the worst in people, and apparently I’m not immune to its depredations.
Despite all the posturing and chest-puffing, during a break mid-competition we had a nice, collegial exchange with the Asheville Citizen-Times team. And yet later, during a turn at the microphone, columnist/reporter John Boyle wasn’t above rubbing our noses in our defeat. So much for building bridges.
The most rattling aspect of the annual competition is the team from the retirement community Givens Estates and its minions. Apparently, Givens residents drop everything to come and support their team. About two coach-buses’ worth of seniors showed up Monday with colorful signs reading GIVENS ESTATES, which they would waggle menacingly every time their team advanced a round. Gotta hand it to ‘em — those Givens folks know how to spell. They took third place. (Their t-shirts read “Golden Spelers,” a deception that worked in their favor.)
Nearly 20 teams took the microphone, round-robin style, to show off their spelling skills. The winning team was from ClarityWorks Inc., and was comprised of Cheryl Dietrich, Margaret Abruzzi and Gwendie Camp. The runners-up were from A-B Tech. During the past two years, both finalists in the Bee were teams comprised solely of women, another nod to that gender’s intellectual superiority. The event raised $34,000 for the organization, which promotes reading skills through one-on-one training.
Next year, despite my gender handicap, I’ll be there again, chicken legs and all. I believe I’ll start studying now. I might even get a bumper sticker that reads “I Brake for Big Words” to let people know that I’m an up-and-comer in the etymological world.
To learn more about the Literacy Council of Buncombe County and the good work it does, call 254-3442 or send an email to literacytutors@bellsouth.net.
— Kent Priestley, staff writer
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