Author:   Justin Souther

The Story: A modern retelling of Snow White set in college. The Lowdown: A generic, fairly inoffensive comedy that’s simply too long and too run-of-the-mill.

The Story: A giant, evil serpent attacks L.A. in order to eat the woman who is the holder of the "Yuh Yi Joo," which would allow the snake to evolve into an all-powerful dragon. The Lowdown: Ridiculous and silly, Dragon Wars is not a good movie by any means, but it is an entertainingly preposterous…

The Story: Two socially inept brothers attempt to become fathers in order to try and pull their father out of a coma. The Lowdown: A dire attempt at being quirky and irreverent, The Brothers Solomon ends up being a pointless, unfunny practice in comedy.

The Story: A young polar bear and walrus must learn to survive in the Arctic. The Lowdown: A well-intentioned family film that won't do much for anyone who isn't a youngster.

The Story: A long-retired Ping-Pong champ is chosen to enter an underground Ping-Pong tournament in order to take down an evil crime lord. The Lowdown: An overall substandard comedy with little going for it other than a few decent bits from Christopher Walken.

The Story: A troubled teen moves in with her long lost dad and must help him save his dolphin research laboratory. The Lowdown: A painfully obvious, low-budget and amateurish film that comes across as trite, overwrought, corny and overlong.

The Story: An FBI agent goes after the mysterious assassin who killed his partner. The Lowdown: A convoluted action flick that suffers by taking itself way too seriously.

The Story: A quasi-biographical look at Jane Austen and her romance with a young man before she became famous. The Lowdown: A decent attempt at examining the impact of Austen’s life experiences on her work, but the film suffers from the standard biopic and period-piece ailments of being too stodgy and lifeless.

The Story: The third installment of the Rush Hour series finds Detective Carter and Chief Inspector Lee heading to Paris to take down a crime syndicate. The Lowdown: Maybe the most generic movie of the summer, it’s not quite as bad as the trailer may indicate, but it’s far from good and never anything more…

The Story: An amateur daredevil attempts to organize a stunt where he would jump 15 school buses, allowing him to make the $50,000 he needs to pay for his stepdad's heart operation, which in turn would give him the chance to beat his stepdad up in order to gain his respect. The Lowdown: An idiotic…

The Story: The long-running animated TV series finally comes to the big screen. Homer accidentally turns Springfield into a toxic cesspool, and the Simpson's must save their hometown from imminent destruction. The Lowdown: As a movie, it's simply OK. It should be enough to satisfy longtime Simpsons fans, but since it loses steam quickly somewhere…

The Story: A rap mogul causes problems for an uptight country club when they deny him membership. The Lowdown: A tedious comedy filled with stereotypes, clichés and tired jokes.

The Story: A rat with a passion for cooking ends up in Paris, and helps a young garbage boy become the city’s biggest chef. The Lowdown: A visually stunning animated film, Ratatouille nonetheless ends up being an overlong and predictable family film with a lot of eye candy and not much else to offer.

The Story: Based on the true story of the search for kidnapped American journalist Daniel Pearl in Pakistan. The Lowdown: A well-intentioned film that starts off strong, but loses steam and tension quickly, and never quite recovers, which makes it strictly for those who have followed the story of Daniel Pearl or anyone with an…

The Story: A newly elected congressman is handpicked by God to build an ark in preparation for a flood. The Lowdown: This comedy has little to show for its $175-million budget other than a lot of flat gags, a simplistic message and a whole lot of overly sentimental fluff.

The Story: After the death of her soccer phenom brother, a teenage girl decides to try out for the men's soccer team at her high school as a tribute to her brother. The Lowdown: Apart from its oddball family-affair pedigree, this is just a cliché-ridden, by-the-books sports flick -- nothing more, nothing less

The Story: A slacker takes a job with his father-in-law’s ad agency, where one of his coworkers, who happens to be a friend from his wife’s past, attempts to break up his marriage. The Lowdown: A tired, unfunny comedy full of sub-sitcom jokes that is only watchable due to the occasional likeability of its leads.

The Story: A sleazy TV producer gathers a group of death-row convicts and places them on a remote island, where they must fight to the death so that their exploits can be broadcast over the Internet. The Lowdown: A surprisingly competent film from World Wrestling Entertainment Films that's fine for what it is, though that…

The Story: When a group of Norsemen invade North America, it is up to a former Viking, who was left behind as a youngster by a previous group of raiders, to defend the Native American tribe that has taken him in. The Lowdown: A tepid attempt at "epic" filmmaking, Pathfinder is a silly, boring, ugly…

The Story: A journalist goes undercover at an ad agency to investigate the company's CEO, who she believes murdered her old friend. The Lowdown: The best that can be said about this film is that it's competent, but it suffers from a lack of sympathetic characters and a convoluted twist ending.

The Story: A mechanic, who has vowed never to race due to the death of her father, gets involved in an underground racing ring organized by a group of eccentric millionaires. The Lowdown: A boring, incompetent movie made by a bunch of people you've never heard of, starring a bunch of people you've never heard…