Author: Justin Souther
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Firehouse Dog
Blades of Glory
Pride
TMNT
I Think I Love My Wife
Wild Hogs
The Astronaut Farmer
Reno 911!: Miami
Breach
Bridge to Terabithia
The Last Sin Eater
Epic Movie
Alpha Dog
I’m convinced that there is a good movie — a fast-paced, tense crime drama rife with social commentary that examines the consequences behind the glamorization of violence and crime — buried somewhere underneath the mess that is Alpha Dog. The only problem is that director Nick Cassavettes didn’t make that movie. Instead, he made this […]
Stomp the Yard
I suppose if the cliched, uplifting sports drama had a little cousin, it would be the cliched, uplifting dance drama. The latest entry is Stomp the Yard, or as I like to call it You Got Served the Last Step Up Footloose Dirty Flashdance 2: Electric Boogaloo (or Y.G.S.L.S.U.F.D.F.2.E.B for short). Actually, the best description […]
Happily N’Ever After
Computers have given us many modern day conveniences — from the Internet to calculator watches — for which I for one am pleased. But technology has also given us one nuisance that we may never rid ourselves of: the unbearably horrible animated movie. Sure, computer animation is cheaper and faster and, in some cases, better […]
Code Name: The Cleaner
Every so often, you come across a movie so downright terrible, so mind-numbingly dim-witted, that you leave the theater feeling physically exhausted. Code Name: The Cleaner is exactly one of those movies. It’s a film so densely packed with horribleness that it almost seemingly collapses upon itself into a black hole of suckitude from which […]
Rocky Balboa
As the sixth film in a rather uninspired series, Rocky Balboa has every reason to be a catastrophe. Sixty-year-old Sylvester Stallone attempts once more to be an action star in a film that he both wrote and directed. When you take into account the other films in which he’s done at least one of those […]
The Pursuit of Happyness
I’ll start off by answering the obvious question: Yes, the word “happiness” in the title is misspelled on purpose. However, this is surprisingly not the most interesting thing in a film that could have easily been generic pap. While the film itself is excruciatingly predictable (I bet you can’t guess if the odds are overcome […]
Unaccompanied Minors
If I were 10 years old, I would have honestly enjoyed — maybe even loved — Unaccompanied Minors. However, since 10 came and went awhile ago, the best I can say about this movie is that there are certainly worse options when it comes to family entertainment this holiday season. Sure, it’s basically Home Alone […]
Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj
Apparently the folks at National Lampoon decided that the world needed yet another wild sex romp set in the halls of academia, and therefore brought us Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj. No, Ryan Reynolds’ Van Wilder never makes an appearance (I suppose the same man who wore a fat suit in Just Friends […]