According to a press release, L.A.-based People Farm Casting will be holding casting sessions at the Four Points Sheraton (22 Woodfin St. in Asheville) on Wednesday, May 30 and Thursday, May 31 (11 a.m.-5 p.m.). They’re seeking “actors and non-actors for a US Cellular SAG commercial to be shot in Asheville with real US Cellular customers in the area.” Men and women, ages 25-55 of all ethnicities are encouraged to audition.
“You do not need a resume, headshot or any acting eperience for this audition. Anyone who comes in just needs to be able to produce a bill or something that shows that they are indeed a current US Cellular customer. It does not matter where you are in your contract – first week or several years,” says the press release.
“You do not need a resume, headshot or any acting eperience for this audition…”
Or to know how to spell.
From the website of this creepily-named casting agency:
“People Farm can deliver “farm fresh” cast that allows the “buyer to be the brand.””
“Okay, you look great – very funky, very Asheville… and what’s that? You’ve done dinner theater? Fantastic. And here’s your US Cellular bill, with your name & address – that checks out. Okay, one last thing – drop your pants and take the US Cellular branding iron. Yes, it’s a legal thing we gotta do. This will sting a lit… Hey, Bob – we got another runner. … Ha! That was great! 6.5 seconds – a new record. Okay drag him over here. Stop wriggling you sissy, or it’ll smear and we’ll have to do it again on the other cheek. Alright, this one’s ready for wardrobe…”