For the third Earth Day in a row, Disney has carted out yet another nature documentary. 2009’s Earth was somewhat majestic if dramatically inert, while last year’s Oceans was a sometimes-spectacular piece of honest-to-goodness filmmaking. What do we get this year with African Cats? Unfortunately, it’s easily the worst of the lot—a dull, corny look at lions and cheetahs and other various critters.
Instead of the often-grand visuals of Disney’s previous nature docs, African Cats is straight-up Wild Kingdom voyeurism, the kind of hiding-in-the-bushes photography that’s been peddled on PBS for decades now. There’s nothing new going on here, besides all these savage beasts being made pretty uninteresting for the sake of a family audience. All of the general nastiness of the animal kingdom is cut short or cut out, while Samuel L. Jackson’s narration is easily the most embarrassing thing the man has done in a career not exactly marked by consistent quality. While Jackson has been in his fair share of bad movies, he’s not boring. African Cats, however, has turned everyone’s favorite BMF into a hokey, whitebread parody of himself.
Jackson’s lifeless narration is the most disappointing aspect of the film, not to mention a succinct summation of the film itself, since it’s so dreadfully dull and listless. Mixed in with all the nature footage is the story of a pride of lions and a family of cheetahs and their humanized fights for survival, which wavers between clunky and clichéd. Sure, this all works fine for the film’s target demographic of young kids, but there’s no justification for a wide-release documentary backed by a company like Disney to be merely “fine.” With little else going on here, it all adds up to a pretty lame attempt at a nature documentary. Rated G.
Part of me likes to think that Justin is picking films by title alone, in the hopes that they will turn out to be Blaxploitation films. This is a slight improvement on SOUL SURFER!!! on that front, I imagine.
That’s Soooouuuullll Surfer!
Justin, you are still a bad person…repent
I think Mr. Souther’s alternative plot for this has legs.
It is my belief that Justin thought this movie was African Katz and was about a guy who owned a delicatessen in Nairobi.
I thought that one was about the CEO of DreamWorks Animation going on a safari?
That’s the prequel.
“African Katz” makes me think this is a movie about a black psychiatrist giving therapy to stand up comedians. Anyway, can this movie be that bad? I loved EARTH and OCEANS.
Don’t ask me. I don’t do nature documentaries.
Anyway, can this movie be that bad?
Yes. Yes it can.
Justin,
You are a bad person
I’m surprised this is still around. I guess the market for coke-fuelled Zebra blowjobs is big in Asheville.
I’m kinda surprised, too, but it’s being cut to two shows a day come Friday, so it’s on its way out.
Justin,
You are a bad person
Well, I certainly can’t argue with that logic.
If he thinks I’m gonna defend him, he’s nuts.
I find that unlikely — probably undesirable, too.
The power of Katz compels you!
Maybe the power of Sam Katzman.