You know you live in Asheville when…

• You love to go downtown and marvel at how the city has preserved its rich architectural history.
• The name Stewart Coleman sounds familiar.
• All cars appear to be sold with a kayak or bike rack (or both) on top.
• Someone says "green" and you don’t assume they’re referring to a color.
• You have a season pass to Biltmore House (and use it only when you have out-of-town guests).
• You can list all the presidents who’ve stayed at the Grove Park Inn.
• You can drive from the Smokies to the Atlantic Ocean in six hours.
• You understand that you can no longer be poor and afford to live in Montford.
• You see Andie MacDowell on the street.
• You can easily find a place to get acupuncture for your dog or cat.
• After hearing about an animal in need, you put the word out to your friends and find him/her a home by 5 p.m.
• You know what a Migun Bed is.
• A "modest” home costs at least $300,000.
• Even though the forecast calls for 7 inches of snow, you may well get none, and when none is predicted you may very well get 7 inches.
• You wear your heaviest winter coat, hat, gloves, socks, scarf, boots and long underwear on Monday, and by Wednesday, you’re trying to decide if you even need a light jacket.
• The schools calling a "snow day" has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not it’s snowing.
• You remember the Storm of the Century in ’93.
• At least two of your friends are vegans.
• You have a hard time deciding which vegetarian or vegan restaurant to visit for dinner.
• You understand that one doesn’t plant (though you may eat) the Laughing Seed.
• People who mention Rosetta's aren’t necessarily talking about a person.
• You love the combination of Southern charm and urban sophistication.
• There are wonderful outdoor music festivals.
• You can tell when and where the drum circle occurs.
• Someone talks about the bridges of Madison County and you don’t think they’re referring to a movie with Clint Eastwood and Meryl Streep.
• People pronounce Leicester as "Lee-ces-ter."
• You enjoy great arts-and-crafts shows year round.
• You schedule your summer vacation around Bele Chere.
• If you're coming from out of town, you have to either drive in or take a "puddle jumper."
• You can direct visitors to the homes of George Vanderbilt, Thomas Wolfe and Carl Sandburg.
• You can identify where Wolfe and O. Henry are buried.
• You realize that Thomas Wolfe isn’t just a guy who "buys ugly houses."
• You don’t think Helen's Bridge refers to dental work.
• You’re familiar with Zelda Fitzgerald’s sorry story.
• You can take a haunted-places tour that equals the one in Salem.
• You’re aware that Mount Mitchell is the highest peak this side of the Mississippi and may be able to recite its precise elevation.
• It’s no news that Billy Graham lives in Montreat.
• You may run into a bear on a hiking trail and find one in your backyard on the same day (this happened to me).
• You don’t pronounce "Buncombe" as if it had the word “comb” in it.
• Someone mentions the Hot Shot and you don’t think they mean a drink (well, not exactly, anyway).
• You understand that a visit to the Tunnel Road DMV is a full day's outing.
• You realize there are really only two roads in Asheville, though they go by 10 different names (Hendersonville Road/Biltmore Avenue/Broadway/Merrimon Avenue/Weaverville Highway and Smokey Park Highway/Patton Avenue/College Street/Tunnel Road/Highway 70).
• To learn more about malapropisms, you cozy up at Malaprop’s.
• You've used "The Tunnel" as a landmark more than 10 times in giving directions.
• Someone refers to the "Paris of the South” and you don’t ask where that is.
• You unexpectedly run into someone who was your neighbor in San Francisco.
• You unexpectedly run into someone who was your neighbor in Florida.
• A drive on the Blue Ridge Parkway is just another Sunday outing.