Asheville disclaimer: Asheville man determined to ride bicycle all winter for no clear reason

Frand, navigating Smokey Park Highway in 2014

The Asheville Disclaimer is parody/satire.

Asheville, Monday — The 2.5-mile commute Scott Frand makes on bicycle between his home and his work will get significantly more difficult and unbearable as winter worsens, to the apparent delight of Frand.

“Last winter, I had to finally switch to my car when the snow got too bad and the temperatures had me worried about frostbite,” said Frand. “But this winter, nothing is going to keep me off my bike.”

Frand’s friends, family members and coworkers are equally impressed and perplexed by his dogged determination to ride his bicycle throughout the entire winter.

“Last year, when the weather was terrible and he arrived in his car, he practically apologized to everybody at work for not riding his bicycle that day, and we were like, ‘You’re still riding your freaking bicycle?’” said one of Frand’s coworkers. “For some reason, it’s a thing to him.”

Frand, who lives on a city bus line, made a solemn Thanksgiving Day Facebook post in which he swore he would not abandon his bicycle this winter, no matter how unpleasant the conditions became outside.

“I let myself and a lot of other people down last winter when I briefly, though shamefully, abandoned my bicycle and my beliefs in the face of what, in comparison to weather events throughout history, was a non-major snowstorm,” Frand posted online. “While climate change is very real, it cannot change my dedication to the bicycling lifestyle, or all is lost.”

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About Asheville Disclaimer
Asheville Disclaimer is produced by Tom Scheve, along with Asheville's funniest and greatest guy ever, Joe Shelton. Find Tom on Twitter at @tomscheve, or email him at tomscheve@gmail.com. Find Joe Shelton on Facebook at www.facebook.com/jose.deltejaco or email him at joesheltonpoet@hotmail.com. Follow me @tomscheve

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One thought on “Asheville disclaimer: Asheville man determined to ride bicycle all winter for no clear reason

  1. boatrocker

    First, I love the Disclaimer. Always have. It’s been shortened, pared down and pushed to the sidelines in the past few years, but…

    Real rose colored glasses ‘journalism’ via the Mtn X, well, I sometimes have to wonder if the Disclaimer is conducting a test to see who actually reads.
    Dancingand crystals curing illnesses, militant vegetarians, a love affair with artisan food and yuppie beers, unapologetic coverage of (Yay!) hotels locals can’t afford, no leash law for the trolling Tea Party on the comments section, really? Are you sure the Disclaimer hasn’t just bought out the Mtn X?

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