Bartending 101

With all the hype over craft brews and the movement to call Asheville "Beer City" (a sobriquet I thought reserved for Milwaukee, or at least St. Louis), I have not noticed a commensurate effort to provide good service to individual beer drinkers.

I happen to like light premium beer, and how hard can it be to open a bottle and sling it at me. Here's a hint to all bartenders: If I'm making eye contact with you, I'm wanting another beer. If the label is turned toward the bartender, it means I want another of that kind of beer. If the label is facing away, and I'm not staring intently into your gorgeous eyes, I'm fine, and you can see how much of that delicious golden nectar I have left in my bottle.

Geez, I know it's hard to see me over that enormous row of bowling-pin tap handles, but it is kinda your job. If you want to stand around all day gabbing, seek employment on a government paving crew, or better yet, sign on for the next I-40 rock-slide cleanup (do those guys do anything?).

And regarding all the snobbery around your microbrews: If you're wacky, fruity IPAs are so great, why don't they come in a Vortex bottle?

— Norman Plombe


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