Young movie reviewer is ready to help Xpress

I read Cranky Hanke a lot. It seemed kind of weird having all the PG and G movies seem bad. My friends’ moms would read them and not take them to see movies that I liked. So I thought it would be interesting having a kid reviewer on the team. I would even be interested in doing it.

Please let me know about what happens.

— Hannah Clarkson
(age 10)

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21 thoughts on “Young movie reviewer is ready to help Xpress

  1. Ken Hanke

    Look out, Ken and Justine

    Justine? Did something happen while I wasn’t looking?

    Actually — despite the overstatement on “all” G and PG films being “bad” (see Nanny McPhee Returns as a current example) — I don’t entirely object to the idea, though probably as a short “kid’s point of view” addition. (Parents probably don’t want to try to decide whether they think a film is “suitable” on a kid point of view.) Problem is we’ve tried it in the past and it hasn’t worked. I’m not saying Hannah wouldn’t be different, but kids and regular deadlines aren’t usually a good fit.

  2. Dionysis

    “Justine? Did something happen while I wasn’t looking?”

    Whoops. I must have had the Marquis de Sade on my mind. Sorry for the gender confusion. I sure Justin is the epitome of manliness.

  3. Ken Hanke

    I sure Justin is the epitome of manliness

    That might be overstating the case ever so slightly.

  4. Piffy!

    Hannah makes a good point.

    I also think average dolts should be the ones who have to sit through adam sandler movies, et al.

  5. Ken Hanke

    I also think average dolts should be the ones who have to sit through adam sandler movies, et al.

    But can they articulate why they think he’s wonderful? “That’s some funny sh*t” is a little wanting in the critical acumen department.

  6. Piffy!

    [b]That’s some funny… is a little wanting in the critical acumen department. [/b]

    Yes, but people who go to see those movies dont know or care what ‘critical acuman’ means.

    And that means more time for your movies about gay cowboys eating pudding.

  7. Ken Hanke

    Yes, but people who go to see those movies dont know or care what ‘critical acuman’ means

    Yes, but they also only read reviews — if ever — so they can get riled up about how reviewers are eltist bastards, etc. No one would be happy.

    And that means more time for your movies about gay cowboys eating pudding.

    Y’know, years after that joke was new, it amazes me that no one has made such a movie.

  8. Ken Hanke

    I’ll review any film where stuff blows up

    No, you’ll give a good review to any film where stuff blows up.

  9. Piffy!

    [b]Y’know, years after that joke was new, it amazes me that no one has made such a movie. [/b]

    Dude, its been made many times over.

    Mao’s last Brokeback Cook and his Thieving Lover comes to mind.

  10. brebro

    “Critical acumen?” Is that what the sticky stuff on the cinema floor is called?

  11. Ken Hanke

    Mao’s last Brokeback Cook and his Thieving Lover comes to mind

    You have a somewhat peculiar mindset. I expect you’ll take that as a compliment, which you may if you so choose.

  12. Ken Hanke

    “Critical acumen?” Is that what the sticky stuff on the cinema floor is called?

    I think that’s perhaps something else. Mostly found where the man in the raincoat at showings of New York Minute was sitting.

  13. Piffy!

    [b]You have a somewhat peculiar mindset[/b]

    I’m an elitist with commoner pretensions. what can i say?

    i drink pbr with my pinkie up.

  14. Ken Hanke

    i drink pbr with my pinkie up

    If you don’t think there’s a gag to be gotten out of that sentence, you are grievously mistaken. It’s just that I’m far too tasteful to do it.

  15. Ken Hanke

    Take that, Margaret Dumont!

    There’s a man with vision — and a nice haircut.

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