What’s love got to do with it?

I was asked the other day how I felt about Valentine’s Day. On the pro side, even though we should love each other each day of the year and let those we care about know it, we don’t always do it. Having a holiday that celebrates love, and reminds us to recognize it, can’t be all bad. Every day we are bombarded by the media with more bad news, evil gossip of celebrities’ private lives, discussions of corruption in our government. It is warming for me, especially on a cold February day, to see that love prevails anyhow. Even if I am not ready to embrace a serious relationship, I am not bitter at those who have found someone and feel like cheesing it up on Valentine’s Day.

My con with this holiday is that there are many, many single people out there, and Feb. 14 is traditionally about being amorous with a significant other. I know a few people who intensely yearn for this and feel frustrated because they haven’t found that person yet. For some, this holiday calls attention to that fact and propels them to feel a little more lonely than usual. They basically feel left out.

But “when the time is right, it will happen.” It’s not up to you or me, completely. We can’t force people to love us back, and we can’t pretend it’s the real thing. We don’t control who, where, or what time. Fate has a little something to do with that. And you cannot will someone to love you equally in a relationship. It can be a huge gamble. There honestly isn’t much we can do regarding the meeting of our “true love.” But looking nice, brushing teeth, eye contact and having something interesting and unique to offer indeed helps! Oh, and did I mention believing in yourself?

Do you believe in yourself? Are you capable of loving and accepting who you are? Would you want to be with someone who didn’t love and accept themselves?

However annoyed or delighted you are with a Hallmark holiday, remember this: Love yourself first! It’s OK to be single, it’s OK to be married, it’s OK to have multiple lovers, to be cautious, to be so cheesy, to throw all caution to the wind. It’s OK to blow off the holiday altogether, and it’s OK to put up red and pink lights in your windows. As long as you are being true to your soul, and taking care of yourself, love will come into your life in some form or another, and more likely than not, it won’t arrive in the way or at the time you imagined or desired. It may be better than anything you imagined or had before. Be grateful for the love that’s all around you currently! Find and harness it inside yourself as well.

— Michelle Marie Kaczmarcik
Optimistic Flying Frog waitress
Asheville

SHARE

Thanks for reading through to the end…

We share your inclination to get the whole story. For the past 25 years, Xpress has been committed to in-depth, balanced reporting about the greater Asheville area. We want everyone to have access to our stories. That’s a big part of why we've never charged for the paper or put up a paywall.

We’re pretty sure that you know journalism faces big challenges these days. Advertising no longer pays the whole cost. Media outlets around the country are asking their readers to chip in. Xpress needs help, too. We hope you’ll consider signing up to be a member of Xpress. For as little as $5 a month — the cost of a craft beer or kombucha — you can help keep local journalism strong. It only takes a moment.

About Webmaster
Mountain Xpress Webmaster Follow me @MXWebTeam

Before you comment

The comments section is here to provide a platform for civil dialogue on the issues we face together as a local community. Xpress is committed to offering this platform for all voices, but when the tone of the discussion gets nasty or strays off topic, we believe many people choose not to participate. Xpress editors are determined to moderate comments to ensure a constructive interchange is maintained. All comments judged not to be in keeping with the spirit of civil discourse will be removed and repeat violators will be banned. See here for our terms of service. Thank you for being part of this effort to promote respectful discussion.

4 thoughts on “What’s love got to do with it?

  1. Steve Cooper

    Hi Michelle,
    Thanks for a great letter. I appreciate your ability to see the “Valentines Day question” from both sides, and to address the deeper personal issues that surround “relationships” and “happiness.” Especially the need for each of us to be truthful to ourselves and to others.
    Steve C.

  2. Eli Cohen

    There are only two tragedies in life, having a significant other and not having a significant other. (thanks Oscar)

  3. quotequeen

    A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her.
    Oscar Wilde

Leave a Reply

To leave a reply you may Login with your Mountain Xpress account, connect socially or enter your name and e-mail. Your e-mail address will not be published. All fields are required.