As an open-format music DJ and producer — as well as a devoted barfly — I’ve had my share of interesting bar experiences, especially at our local dive bars. If you visit dives often enough, you’ll inevitably have to brave the bathroom at some point, and any experienced dive bar patron can tell you how potentially terrifying the conditions might be. Obscene art, unhinged wall quotes, foul smells, broken or overflowing toilets and — my personal least favorite — long lines, are just a few of the things that could greet you.
But at the same time, it’s the imperfections, quirks, rough-around-the-edges character and grimy aesthetics that make dive bars so great. And for me, nothing beats getting lost in the unusual graffiti art and peculiar messages that can often be discovered on their bathroom walls. You never know when you might unearth encouraging words of intoxicated wisdom or a one-of-a-kind work of art just begging to be the backdrop for a selfie.
With this new occasional column, I’ve taken it upon myself to “dive” deeper into the bathroom scene at our local lowbrow watering holes to share Asheville’s unsung wall-art masterpieces, thought-provoking (or just plain oddball) quotes and other curiosities to hopefully inspire your next bathroom break.
The first stop on our adventure: Broadway’s.
Broadway’s
I confess that I am a little hesitant to write about one of my favorite dive bars since it’s a secret gem for Asheville locals. However, I think it’s best to start this series on the right foot. Broadway’s, which opened on North Lexington Avenue in 1999, is truly a downtown dive bar paradise for the lucky few who have memberships (it’s a members-only club).
Inside, you’ll find loyal regulars, three always-busy pool tables and bartenders who don’t mind using a heavy hand when they pour a drink. The clientele tends to be a diverse group of alternative-minded people, and the environment is generally friendly.
Also — pro tip — it’s one of the best places in Asheville to get pho, if you have the good fortune to be there at one of the random times when the kitchen is open.
You won’t find many eye-catching quotes in Broadway’s bathrooms, but it definitely offers good photo ops with its bizarre wall art. Though the walls aren’t completely covered in graffiti, there are several artistic murals in both bathrooms. The art is a type of weirdcore seemingly executed by the brain of someone under the influence.
In one bathroom, there’s a picture of a short alien resembling E.T. and another of a pensive, glasses-wearing alligator holding a cup of coffee and a cigarette. Both stand out distinctly against the battered blue walls. I bet many of the people who frequent Broadway’s start their morning just like this alligator.
In the other bathroom, the blood-red walls are decorated with oddly warped pictures of popular movie characters, such as Tony Montana from Scarface and David from The Lost Boys. The images look like something out of a fever dream-turned-nightmare directed by Tim Burton. (I looked for a signature or evidence of who had created these murals, but couldn’t find anything.)
Drunkenly stepping into these bathrooms with that art staring back at you can feel a little unsettling. But for me, any uneasiness caused by the art’s cryptic energy isn’t enough to overpower the overwhelming desire to snap a selfie.
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